Broken Part 2
by T64t
Summary: Here is the sequel to Broken. You should read the 2 other stories first. This starts 7 years after Broken and will be about what happens to Tris&Tobias, and family. There will be drama and action in there. See who's gonna fight... or fall. Don't worry I stored some fluff for you too. I love reviews! Should I rate minor M?
1. 1 Tris: 7 years later

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE**_

_**Hi everyone. I decided the give this sequel a try. I didn't finish the whole plot, but I have enough to get started. I will begin 7 years after the end of Broken.**_

_**It will mostly be about what happens to Natalie and Adam, both from their POV and their parent's. I plan to speak about teenager's problems and how parents sometimes can be of help, but don't always find the right way to do it. There will be a major issue for each of the kids too, so p**_**_art of the story will be from the kid's POV._**

_**Please read and review... as usual**_

_**DISCLAIMER : I DO NOT OWN ANY RIGHTS ON DIVERGENT SERIES OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS.**_

1\. **Tris: 7 years later****  
**

**Thursday, September 26th**

I come back home with Theo and I say as usual "Hi it's Mummy! We're home." As usual, I get no answer, even though Natalie and Adam came back one hour ago.

I install Theo in his bedroom to finish his homework. I tell him to finish learning his poetry that I'll check before dinner.

I go straight to Adam's room where he is reading quietly on the tablet, but with headphones loudly on, as usual. I shake him and ask "Did you finish your homework first?" He does not lift his eyes from the screen nor takes the headphone off, and makes a sigh to answer "Of course I did. You ask me every day."

"I'll check your homework in a minute anyway." I answer. He is only 13 and we have the hardest times to make him go out of his books and loud and violent music. We got over his morbid tastes, his constant dull mood, but I'm really worried about his rebel temper. He pretends we favorite his sister because she's brilliant, and we love his younger brother more than him, for being unspoilt by the experiments in Fort Sheridan years ago.

We tried to have Adam make sports. He is really talented for most of sports, and I understood he is a kind of a champion in martial arts, but we could not help him getting violent in any type of close combat. He is such a rebel that he will never stay in a team for more than a month. We confiscated him the video game consoles after he broke the second one from frustration, after a lost shooting game. That's how he ended up listening to loud music in his bedroom most of the time, no matter how much therapy we've been through. No need to say he has no friends. Curse Marcus for messing our lives even after such a long time! Had Tobias not killed him, I would have with my bare hands. I sigh and remember I have another teenager waiting and she's been much too silent.

When I open Natalie's door, I know something has been wrong. She's lying on her bed, and I can see she has been crying from her red and swollen eyes. I believe this has something to do with others bullying her at school again. Natalie is too brilliant and too lonely. It's not her fault, her brains seem to come from me, or my DNA to be exact. She has one friend in Alice, Zeke and Shauna's eldest daughter - they have three now. The problem is that, this year they are separated, because her teachers insisted on Natalie going to high school one year early, while Alice is still in 8th grade. I understood she was quite happy to miss the ball because I know she has no boyfriend. I understand her brains scare the others, but I thought it would get better with time.

I get in and sit on the bed next to her. "Okay, What's wrong sweetie?"

She looks at me sadly and gives a crumpled paper ball to me. I unfold it and I can read that it's a maths test labeled A+. I know she's been doing very well since she started this year. I ask wonderingly "And what about that? You've done very well Honey..."

"They were mean to me and said I should tell them how I did it." She sniffs a little. "When I answered I just didn't really know how I had done it, they said I could not tell, because I was a cheater."

I come closer to her and take her in my arms. "Hey, sweetie, you know you did not cheat, and you don't care about what they think do you?"

"No, I don't really care… but everybody hates me now. They think that I found some trick to get all the good answers and don't want to share it with them." She says sadly.

I know she had not many friends last year and now she lost Alice too "I know you feel lonely. Maybe it will get better when they'll you're not good in everything."

"Like what?" She says hopefully looking up.

"You're terrible at sports, except dancing of course, and you're no good in singing and arts." I say with a thin smile.

"And you think that'll make it? Mom you don't get it at all. You're too old to understand." I retain a smile at hearing her calling me old. I mean, I'm just over 30! But I guess it's not fun for Natalie so I decide we need a chat.

"Okay what if we discuss it all after dinner? First I must go and check your brothers' homework and prepare something to eat. You've finished your homework of course?"

"Yes. It's a biology lesson and I know more about it than the teacher anyway, thanks to Uncle Caleb and Aunt Cara."

I smile, because I know she's right. Not only did she read all the books Caleb offers her for her birthday, but she started spending time in the lab with Caleb and Matthew last summer. Since she understood that Matthew and Caleb were actually working on some vaccine, to kind of save humanity from genetic disaster, they both appear like living gods to her. I believe that Caleb's books turned her into a science freak… or maybe it's my Erudite's DNA? She doesn't know who gave Matthew the cells to make the vaccines though. I suppose we will have to speak about that some day… and add other problems to the ones we already have?

The vaccine has been ready for nearly five years now, and every pregnant women must get an injection in the first 2 months ever since. Christina had the vaccine for her second child, a girl named Deryn. Her son is seven and is very good friends with Theo. Our gang is growing bigger. The problem is that they still don't really know if the repaired DNA will pass through the next generation.

Before I get up from Natalie's bed, I just ask with a wink "Would you need me to give you a mood-song?" She nods with a smile. The mood-song is something I invented two years ago, because we're not the talkative family type, and I could not easily speak with Adam and Natalie. That's why I tried to find a way to communicate with them, even when we could not find words. I started this as a game where we would choose a song or a music, which would describe our mood to others. You could respond either with any other song or with speech if you wished.

During this game, I received love songs (not only from Tobias), anger songs, baby songs, hope songs sad or happy ones. Sometimes, I would also just put a nice music on just to make the atmosphere cooler, some other times I would play something on the piano when I felt like it. Theo seems to like playing it a little. We still use the game when needed, but recently it has been more often to find a song to help one of us get better. I get out to grab my tablet where I store the music files. I know what she needs right now... I give it back to Natalie with _Firework_ from Katy Perry…

_You don't have to feel like a wasted space_  
_ You're original, cannot be replaced_  
_ If you only knew what the future holds_  
_ After a hurricane comes a rainbow_

_ Maybe a reason why all the doors are closed_  
_ So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road_  
_ Like a lightning bolt, your heart will glow_  
_ And when it's time you'll know_

_ You just gotta ignite the light and let it shine_  
_ Just own the night like the 4th of July_

_ 'Cause, baby, you're a firework_  
_ Come on, show 'em what you're worth_...

While I check Theo's homework, I hear Tobias coming back. I peer through the door to ask him if he can check Adam's homework, while I give Theo his bath and cook for dinner.

_**A/N**_

_**Sorry this chapter stops here. I promise you another one during this week-end. Please follow the story if you want to know when it's online**_


	2. 2 Tris: Worries

**_A/N_**

**_I promised a new chapter in the week-end and here it is. There's another one coming but it's still not finished._**

**_Review and follow if you want to know about the next chapters' release._**

**2\. Tris**

While I make the salad I try to think about how I could help Natalie. It's really difficult for me to sort this out, I just can't tell her to play it stupid, just to make friends. Anyway, what's the point to have mean friends? I suppose I should help her find a way to communicate, but I have never experienced what she's living now. I did not have friends at her age either, but I didn't want any, I was merely trying to be invisible.

I hear splashes in the bathroom where Tobias is playing with Theo. I know Adam is jealous about it. He feels he didn't have the chance to be a real child with both his parents. That's true in fact. Whatever we try to do to spend time with him now, we won't replace the lost years, no matter how much we regret it. That's why I must try something to help Natalie. First of all, I must try to change her mind. I think I have an idea for it.

I dry my hands, go to the bathroom and risk an eye inside. I look inside the foam and fog for Tobias's face. "Tobias, could you pick up the boys tomorrow afternoon? I will have something to do with Natalie if it's OK with you…"

He thinks over it for a minute and answer "I guess I can. What do you girls have to do if I may ask?"

"I'll take her to the studio for her rehearsal and stay with her." I answer "I know she's worried about the try out… dancing is the only thing she has to work for achievement."

"Good idea he says…. And what about a chocolate cake to cheer us all up?"

I laugh "You guys really never forget your stomachs don't you? I'll see what I can do." When I get back to the kitchen, I turn the oven on for the cake, get the butter, chocolate, sugar, eggs and flour **_[If you would like my recipe, give me reviews to let me know]. _**I actually really like cooking for them all, when I'm not in a hurry.

xxx

After dinner we put Theo to bed and I let Tobias discuss with Adam about how he got expelled from his science class today. I understood he blew up his experiment while trying to make explosives… I don't know what to do with him. I just can't understand what comes across his head sometimes. I must go and speak with Natalie.

The try outs are on Saturday and she's been working on her routine all summer. I know she really wants to take that dancing class. Her teacher actually told me she really has a chance to pass.

She's reading in her bed when I enter her bedroom.

"OK. Why on earth would you want to be friends with people who treat you so bad?"

"I feel lonely, I wish we wouldn't have secrets and everything. I would like to be normal, without Adam fighting at school and you and dad ruling the city."

I'm struck by the thought that our choices can affect her so much. "I understand you would like your life to be simple, but that's what you are. That's what we all are. You can't be ashamed of that. Your dad and I made those choices long ago, because we thought we could be useful to others. When we were your age, your dad and I belonged to the faction called Abnegation, you remember that do you?" She nods.

"And you remember that our main concern was selflessness and doing things for others?"

"Yes."

"So this is why, even when we became Dauntless, I could not really forget this part of me. That's why I chose to save our friends from The Bureau and fought against people who planned to experiment on you or Adam. I would really have preferred a quiet life with you all, but we didn't have a choice, they hunted us down to use us as they wanted. The secrets you don't like, they protect us. I suppose it all happened because of me being Divergent in the first place. That's how, when it was over, both your father and I came to have responsibilities. But being Divergent was not a choice, it's what I am and I learned to accept it, with the good parts and the bad one. There's no point in wanting to change it to make friends, you would just be pretending and real friends love you as you are. What I'm trying to tell you is that nearly every situation has a good and a bad side, try and find the good in your situation."

"There's nothing good in my situation Mom." She says sounding annoyed by my lecturing her.

"There's good, but you don't see it yet. First you have a family that loves you, a home and you can do what you want. I can tell you about many people who still don't have this chance. Second, you're brilliant. If you stop paying attention to the people who are jealous of you, maybe you could think about a useful way to use your brains don't you?"

She looks at me with a kind of surprised look "I never thought about it that way, but maybe I could…"

I hug her before leaving because it's getting late "We'll talk about this tomorrow. Your father will get the boys and I'll pick you up after school and I'll come with you for the rehearsal OK?"

"Wow! That's great Mom!" She says with a true smile this time.

"Have a good night's sleep and we'll sort this out tomorrow." I say before closing the door.

xxx

When we're over with washing up dishes and cleaning everything, we can finally go to bed. I believe it's the best time of the day, when we can have some time on our own. I sometimes regret we did not really have time together, without any child; there are days like today, when I think family life is a trap. I know it's selfish, but I can't help it when I'm tired and surrounded by everyone else's problems, that I have to try to solve. I shiver-I'm cold when I'm tired, and cuddle into Tobias's arms. His heat feels so good, that I relax immediately and forget my worries for a second. But I must speak now, so I take a deep breath to say "We have to tell them, I mean, tell Adam and Natalie."

"Tell them what?" He asks, lifting my head up.

"We must tell them everything they don't know yet. We have to tell them you killed Marcus, and what he did to you. We have to tell them about Matthew using my eggs to make the vaccine. We have to tell them about what we did to the people at the Bureau. I believe they have to know how much different they are, and that we might never be completely safe because of that. I want them to stay aware." I don't know why, I feel tears welling up my eyes at the thought.

"Hey, what's happening to you? Is there something we should fear?" I can read concern in his eyes.

"No, don't worry. I fear nothing at the moment, but sometimes I feel it will never be completely over. That's why I want them to know. I think it might help them feel better."

"Don't you fear they could share our secrets with the wrong persons?" He asks still concerned.

"I suppose it is possible, but maybe all their schoolmates aren't part of a conspiracy?"

"I shall give it a thought, if you don't mind. What if we talked about something more cheerful?" He says pulling me closer and looking tenderly into my eyes. I can't help diving into his deep blue eyes. After all those years he looks the same, his tanned skin is still so smooth, except maybe for this wrinkle between his eyebrows…I cup his face in my hands, and when we kiss, it just makes me forget my worries for a while. I let go in his embrace.

It's 2:09 on the alarm clock when I wake up sweating. My breathing is short and my heart's pounding. I sit down to pull myself up and blink to chase the awful sight. I dart a quick look at Tobias. I know he didn't wake up, from his light snores next to me… better he didn't. I can't help it, I have to check. I get up and tiptoe to the children's rooms to check. All three of them are sleeping quietly though. I sigh, relieved.

When I get back into our bedroom, Tobias is awake.

"Bad dream?" He asks. I nod, hoping he won't ask more, but he goes on "Tell me." He says stroking my hair. I'm stuck. "I dreamed the twins died again. They were both ill and… I couldn't help it. I tried everything… but it wouldn't work." I can't help crying, I still feel the pain inside my chest.

He kisses gently my forehead. "It's just a bad dream, they are both in very good health. You shouldn't worry about that, OK?"

I cuddle in his arms again, hoping to fall asleep


	3. 3 Tris: The audition

**A/N: Hi everyone. If you're not sleeping yet, here's the third chapter. Not much action but it's coming later. See you soon for another one. Please review to let me know what you expect from this story. Next chapter will be about Adam a lot.**

**3\. Tris**

**Friday, September 27th**

She starts warming up a little. I like watching her moving slowly, her moves becoming more and more fluent. I'm happy she's not skinny as I was; she definitely inherited her bone frame and muscles from her father. I observe her pointing her toes and rolling her ankles. I turn the music player on and install the flash memory with the piece we need. I'm glad she trusted me for the choice I suggested. That's how she will dance on a Chopin's waltz I started to study (**_Valse Op 64. No 2 in c sharp minor #7_**). I can't play it yet but she liked it and I helped her working on her routine.

She tries out for the Duncan's ballet school tomorrow. It is the best dancing school in the country after the New York's one; they only take 5 students each year. I know she really wants to make it, and maybe, that could help her at school to be able to live her passion too.

I suggested she should tell a story with it, instead of just dancing along. I believe you have to put some kind of soul in this… she made up a story about a puppet that come to life for a single day. The end is quite tricky, because she has to fall gently at the end of the last series of pirouette piqué tour en dedans, without looking clumsy. I hope she will make it tomorrow, because she still is weak on the last part, because she says her feet hurt. She said she wouldn't ease the routine whatever, that's why she wanted so much to practice today. She tries the pirouette first without the music. I can see her wince while she's turning slowly. I take a quick look at her feet and I know what's going wrong.

I leave and go to the changing room to grab her old pair of Pointe shoes. When I return, I stop the music and give them to her saying "You have to dance with the old shoes Natalie, or you'll suffer hell and you will fail. The new ones are not broken yet, I can see you lose your balance on the Pirouette piqué. They won't care about your shoes though, if you're doing well."

She sits down silently and changes her shoes. After that, it goes much better and she does wonderfully, but maybe I'm not objective as a mother. I feel a pang in the chest, knowing I won't be able to attend for the audition tomorrow.

I actually like these moments we share between us girls. If only I could be that close from her brother. Adam is a complete enigma to me as well as to his father. He never tells us about his problems, unless we question him for half an hour or we are asked for an appointment with the headmaster.

xxx

**The next day**

This morning is as bright as a summer day. When I opened the curtains, the light in Natalie's room was bathing everything with warm gold. Maybe it's a good luck sign. The audition starts at 10, so we had to get ready pretty fast. After breakfast, I combed her hair and made her bun carefully. I looked at our reflection in the mirror for a minute, just like my mother used to do when I had my haircut every 3 months. It was like the image was reversed though, because she looks so much like my mother. I kiss her cheek and say "You look great sweetheart. Are you ready?" She nods, but I feel she's not so self assured, when the smile she was trying to make, dies on her lips. She hugs everyone before leaving the house and I hear Tobias murmur in her ear "I trust you. You'll bluff them all." When we leave for the rehearsal, I believe that I'm more nervous than she is, but I don't want her to know. If I was not driving, I would be wiping my hands on my thighs every minute. I don't know how I'll be able to wait for the results on Monday.

When she enters the changing rooms I cross my fingers and mouth good luck at her. I'm more afraid than on my choosing day. I always marvel at how children always matter so much more than yourself.

I brought a book that Shauna gave me it's called "Brave New World", and very interesting compared to our lives, but I can't concentrate on it right now. I start listening to music on my phone and I think I dozed a little, because I jump awake when Natalie shakes my hand. I shake my head and try to read her expression, but she just feels relieved.

"How did you do Sweetie? Were your old shoes all right?"

She looks undecipherable when she answers "I just made it. It was much better with those shoes, you were right Mom. Please, let's not speak about it until I get the results OK?"

I get up "As you want Sweetie." I check my watch and it's only 11. "Would you like to go shopping with your old fashioned Mom then?"

This time she smiles at me.

xxx

**Monday, September 30th**

It's 3PM when I get the message on my cell phone. I read it twice, and I try to sort out my feelings. I actually feel a mix of pride, happiness and fear. It says:

_We're pleased to inform that Miss Natalie Eaton is accepted in Duncan School for next term._

_Being 1st rank, she is offered a scholarship as a resident student._

_Start of term and registration will be on Monday, October 7th at 9AM._

I pick her up at school, because I want to give her the great news first. I'm not sure if the second part of it will actually rejoice her or not. I suppose I'm the one who will have to tell the guys she did very well, and is leaving us for the next 8 months.

xxx

Natalie decided to wait for everyone to get home before she gives the news. That's why as soon as Tobias comes back from work, we all gather in the living room. Her eyes sparkle when she makes the announcement that she came out first. The three guys cheer up noisily and hug is about to get a bottle of wine to celebrate when she says "Wait, I'm not over. They offered me a scholarship, so I will move to the school as a resident student. It's really great because I can possibly have a career as a dancer, but I will only be able to come back home for holidays, because I know I'll have to perform in the theatre shows in the week-ends. It starts next Monday." She stops here with a sad look on her face. I believe she's just acknowledged the sacrifice she's about to make.

I still can't take it, but I retain myself for showing it. I cried myself out this afternoon already when I got the message. Tobias and Adam stopped cheering and talking. It just breaks my heart when I see what's painting on their faces. Adam suddenly gets up with a nasty look and spits "So you're happy now, you can just drop us Miss better than the others." And he darts away to his room, before any of us can make a single move. I can hear the click when he locks himself in.


	4. 4 Tobias: Father and son

****A/N: Hi everyone. New chapter for you guys! I still don't have many reviews telling me about what you think about this new story though. I really love reading them and some really help me get better on telling my story. I know it's difficult to know where this story is going but you'll find out in chapter 7 or 8 if things go on well.****

****I probably won't update until saturday (too much work) so you'll have plenty of time to express yourself ;-)))  
****

**4\. Tobias: Father and son**

I sigh and dart a desperate look to Tris. Why on earth can our life never be simple? Today should be joyful and Natalie's success is bringing us down to a new problem. I never really know how to deal with the children's problems.

Tris gets up and says it's time to check homework for me and prepare dinner for her. It's quite easy with Theo because he really knows his math lesson very well. I tell him he can play for 10 minutes before dinner's ready. Now I have to go to Natalie who prepared her English test pretty well.

Now it's the hard time for me with Adam. I knock at the door with my instructor's voice to ask him to open but I get no answer. I have to threaten him to retain his pocket money and deprive him for going out during one week, to hear the door unlocking. It does not open though. His homework is done; quality is not really here, but it's done. I close the door and ask "What's wrong with you Adam, you should be happy for Natalie?" He's lying on his bed nonchalantly, his bad mood showing all over his face like it already shows on the black walls.

"It's not fair. She's good at everything and gets everything she wants. Now she'll be on her own and I'm a loser."

I flinch and shake my head in incomprehension. I just can't figure out what we have done wrong over the past years, to let him think he's a failure.

"But you're not a loser Adam, you could achieve a lot of things I you would just direct your skills somewhere useful. You're not your sister. Being jealous is pointless. You should find your own way."

"Like what? Fighting? That's all I can do well." He mumbles.

I come closer and sit on the edge of his bed.

"I won't say it's not a career, you can be a soldier or a policeman. That's pretty much what your mother and I were trained for actually, but you have to fight for something that's worth it. You fight for the act itself… or tell me why?"

"I don't know… I have to let it out. You won't let me enter the school martial arts' team."

"You've been expelled from the team, if you remember. You beat this guy… Brian, like pulp in the third session. What did you think?" I'd swear he's about to cry.

I hear Tris calling us for dinner. I look at Adam and add "OK. We will finish this conversation after dinner. It's not over."

xxx

After we're finished, I put Theo to bed, and while the twins put their PJ's and brush their teeth, I tell Tris about what I want to discuss with Adam tonight. She drops her dish towel on the sink, and looks at me. "Are you sure?" She asks with concern in her voice.

"I think it's time for me to really help him. And maybe this will help. You were right about telling the kids everything about us… I mean, nearly everything" I add kissing her neck and wrap my hands around her waist. She gives me back my kiss and says "Are you thinking about something like, how you make babies?"

I smile at her and add "Tell Natalie I'll come later to give her a kiss."

Adam is on his bed, lying with his headphones on. I can hear the loud music from the doorstep. I close the door behind me and sit down on his bed again, facing him.

"Look Adam, there's something it's time I tell you about. Your mother thinks you're old enough to understand and we planned to tell you and Natalie everything about our family, but there is something I want to tell you now. Well, your grandfather… Marcus… he used to beat me when I was a child, just like he did with you. He would beat me for anything he thought wrong, from things I forgot, things I said, things he believed I thought, resisting him too... He beat me every day and he kept telling it was for my own good. I know he liked beating me, but you know that too don't you?" He nods and I can see a new interest in his gaze. I go on "He sometimes beat your grandmother too. I had to endure this silently for 16 years, until I could escape when I transferred to Dauntless. When I got there, I believe I had so much rage stored in me that it could blow every moment. Training for fight helped me release all this fury that I had inside me. Once I beat some other initiate so hard that I could actually have killed him, and I liked it. I was afraid of myself that day. Adam, do you like hurting people? Is that why you're fighting all the time at school?" He nods.

"Are you afraid of that?" He nods silently again. I take a deep breath "Maybe I could help you muster your rage if... Would you like to train at fighting with me? I'll try to teach you where the frontier is, and hopefully you can have another chance in the martial arts' team."

He just says "Yes, I'd like to." I look into his eyes and I feel like looking at a younger myself again. I I get up and before leaving I add "There's one other very important thing Adam, whatever Marcus told you, nothing of this is your fault. They did experiments on you, with serums and threat and psychological pressure. You're not responsible… and you can get out of this. Someday you might even forget you'll see.

He lifts his blue gaze at me and just says "Thank you Dad."

I smile at him and say "Any time, son."


	5. 5 Being parents

****A/N: Hi everyone. Saturday's chapter for you as I promised! Go on reviewing (I love reading your posts when I get up) and telling me what you would like to find in this new story. If it fits with my plot line, I'll do it.  
****

**Friday, October 4th**

I sit in the bed next to Tobias, after putting the clothes in the dryer. I'm proud to have become such an expert in turning dirty clothes into clean ones within hours. I keep thinking about Adam's reaction, to Natalie's leaving us for the dancing school. I fear he will feel abandoned again and plunge into the kind of depression we've already been through, three years ago. I thought we would be done with it. I feel useless for him and I hate it.

He's not sleeping yet, and he's reading some newspaper. I stir and turn to him to ask the question I've been turning in my head for days "Tobias, I keep asking myself, do you think we're bad parents?"

He drops his newspaper and looks at me deeply. "I'm not sure we can actually answer that question. I believe we've tried our best to deal with all the problems that were driven on us, and we are definitely not responsible for the harm Marcus did to Adam."

I go on with the idea that's torturing me "I feel responsible for leaving you alone when I went for the memory serum. Had I left Caleb going inside this room as we planned... I mean, they probably wouldn't have taken Adam from us in the first place. You would have been there for him." This time he looks a little worried or maybe annoyed by this guilt crisis, but I can't help it.

"Tris, no need to torture yourself. You made choices you thought right and it's too late to regret them. We just don't know how things would have gone. Maybe they would have kidnapped them anyway, we shouldn't care about the past anymore."

I pull back my legs on my chest and put my head on my knees. I feel so powerless and lost. "I'll feel better after we've told them everything. I hope the guilt and remorse will ease a little... And they don't hate us either of course." I don't know why, I feel like crying. I suddenly feel old and tired... Again. And maybe I am. I sigh "I'm exhausted. I wonder if I'll make it till the end of term if things go on frantic like this. Mrs Dawson the chief cook is ill again, and the new pupils are really driving everyone crazy."

Tobias pulls me closer, and starts massaging my shoulders and my neck; the tension goes away a little. I just let go and close my eyes to feel the warmth filling me. "Wow. That's brilliant." I say. After a few minutes, I lean down to my side to rest my head on his lap, so I can have a look at him. He is always so handsome. I still feel so proud he chose me, skinny and dull as I was. I can see sometimes, his gaze linger on beautiful women, the ones with curves and breasts, but I know there's something different between us, something that didn't fade away when he thought I was dead. I love him so much for that.

"Are you not tired?" He asks when my hands start running under his tee shirt.

"Not that much." I respond with a kiss.

Xxx

**Tobias POV**

**Satur****day, October ****5****th**

The day is gray and cold. Autumn is really here now, and bright days are getting rare. I made arrangements with George last week, to be able to practice in the dauntless compound. It is now used mostly by security agents and policemen for training and exams. luckily George is training them, so I guess that was easy to obtain this little favor. I could have used my position at the City council, but I didn't want to make this very personal family issue too official.

It's strange for me to come again in these corridors, but I like showing him around the pit, the chasm with the noise and water splashing all around our feet when we walk down, the control room... Tomorrow we will tell him what happened here, and how this place became our home.

I test him first with all kind of fighting techniques; I need to know where to start and did not ask the headmaster about how exactly he beat the other guys like pulp every two weeks or so.

He starts with the punching bag but I notice he just puts so much rage in it, that I won't be able to muster it easily. I don't want to actually fight with him, for our first training, neither do I want him to hold a gun. I'm afraid he might like the powerful feeling too much. That's when my gaze falls upon the table with knives, that has been set aside in a corner, packed with unused training weapons and broken equipment. I check the knives and everything seems functional under the rags and dust that covers it. I decide to try Adam with the knives straight away. At the beginning, aiming and throwing require so much focus and concentration, that you have to forget what's around, be it hate or anger. Yes knives are a good choice... If I can still do it.

I get the table near the targets, and install it back where it used to be when I was an instructor. I nice the target is full of training guns' impacts, as well as what seems to be darts from tranquilizing weapons. I'm glad to see that the new training of security officers really tends to keep people alive. The old moves come back to me so easily, like I was doing it yesterday. I turn a knife slowly in my hand, watching its glow in the dim light and feeling back the old sense of power I had with it in my hand. Suddenly I'm back 14 years ago, Tris is standing in front of the target and I know Eric is waiting for me to hurt her in some way, while all I feel is I like her and want to protect her.

I decide to speak. "Did you know I cut your mother's ear with those knives, when I was her instructor?"

Adam looks definitely puzzled "What happened? Did she like it so much that she fell for you anyway?"

"One of the leaders that was instructing with me wanted to tame her. I'm afraid she hated me at first but when she knew I did that to protect her, I guess she changed her mind."

"I take a deep breath and I throw the 6 knives. When I stop, I can see I still aim perfectly as they're all in the bull's-eye. When I turn around, I discern fear in his eyes as well as admiration." I ask "Would you like to try?" He nods silently. Again I notice how silent and secret he is. When he was depressed, they said he had been alone so much, he had a strong problem in actually expressing things to others with words.

After one hour of practice, I decide it's enough. Adam keeps asking me if I could actually kill someone. On our way back I say "I can kill someone, I already have... But being a Man is not about beating or killing someone, it's having the ability to do it well, but finding all the good reasons to avoid doing it."


	6. 6: What truth does

**A/N: Hi everyone. Here's my new chapter. It's the first time I try to write from a 13-year old POV. Hope it's still realistic and does not sound stupid to you. Please review or PM if it's not good enough. You can do it if it's good too ;-))  
**

**Tris POV**

**Sunday, October 6th**

We decided to tell them everything today. Theo is gone to Zeke and Shauna for the day, so we can speak with the twins alone, and also because we packed Natalie's things for the school. I'm not sure where we should start from though, Tobias's choosing day? My aptitude test? I shall think about it while I prepare breakfast.

Finally, we decided to begin with the factions and how our lives were in abnegation. Tobias explains painfully what Marcus did to him and his mother, and that she left and abandoned him when he was nine. I can see that Natalie looks horrified. I can see it is hard for him to voice it again, now that this shadow is nearly gone from our lives.

I wonder what Natalie will think when it comes to the part where we actually kill some people. We tell them about initiation, me being Divergent and the Abnegation attack, but I don't want them to know about Peter and Al nearly killing me.

I tell them I killed Will though, and how we managed to stop Jeanine Matthews.

My hard time comes, when I have to explain how my parents died. I tell them how the Erudite tried to kill me again after that but I think it better to minimize Caleb's involvement in this part. We can't tell them everything yet I believe... Or maybe I want to forget.

Tobias tells them about the Bureau and their plan to erase everyone in the city and how we thought better-how stupid- to erase the people from the Bureau instead. Then I explain how I got into the lab instead of Caleb and got shot by David. They both know all that happened afterwards by now.

This longs story made short lasted more than one hour and I can see both of them feel uncomfortable. I ask "Do you have questions?" I'm sure they have, but will they dare asking them...

Adam has been watching his feet for a while. He lifts his gaze to us "If you knew world was so dangerous, and they would hunt us down, why did you have kids then? Why did you have us?"

The question hits me like a blow. I turn desperately to Tobias but he's gone white and slightly shakes his head no. Natalie says nothing and avoids my gaze.

I try to think quickly, I know the truth can hurt them more than a lie, but we decided we would stop hiding things to the kids.

I take a deep breath. "Adam, Natalie you must know we actually didn't plan to have children. I mean I suppose we would have, but not that early." I look at Tobias for help but he still looks stunned. "The truth is we did not choose to have a child, and obviously not to have twins, but you are the best thing that happened to us, we don't regret anything, no matter how hard it is. You must understand we didn't expect anything that happened after I entered the lab, and we obviously misjudged a lot of people."

Oh God! Am I telling my children that they are here by accident? I want to cry, and I can't speak anymore and I wait for someone else to say something. I can see that Adam is clenching his fists hard and looking angry. All this conversation was a total failure. I thought it would help them and they seem to be more confused than ever. Tobias seems to regain his thoughts and says "We thought it could help you to know where you come from and why we had to suffer so much in the past. Your mother and I did not want so many harm to come from our deeds, but we tried our best to make things right again, and we would do anything to protect you. You shall never doubt that we love you and Theo more than anything else."

I'm glad he said that, but if Natalie seems to relax a little I feel that Adam is still angry. I could not be more right because he jumps from the seat and says "What you're telling us is that you didn't want us in the first place and because you are some sort or weird kind of humans , whose DNA is supposed to save humanity, we might never be safe even if you know how kill people so well! you should never have had kids! I hate you!" and he darts to his room.

Wow, that was clear. I try not to collapse and I hear Tobias say with the coldest voice ever "Natalie, would you have anything to say?"

She looks at us with something sad in her blue gaze. "I don't hate you but I wish you had told me earlier. I want to think about it, and I still have things to pack for tomorrow." She gets up and leaves to her room too.

When she's out of sight I just can't retain my tears anymore. When I turn back, I can see Tobias is crying too.

xxx

**Adam POV**

**Monday, October 7th**

I nearly run out of the classroom, I feel like I will suffocate. It has been like this all day, I couldn't help it. What they told us yesterday is hurting me, it's burning me inside. I want to puke at the idea that, right now, someone is probably injecting my mother's cells into live beings, even if it's to cure everyone. I managed to avoid kissing her since then; she looks like a sort of freak to me.

They betrayed us, they lied to us… For our own good they say… Just like Marcus did! I remember him in a flash, with his belt...And they said we might never be safe. All the adults are traitors and liars. They didn't want me in the first place. I hate them. I don't want to cry though, I squeeze my eyes hard to keep the tears in.

"Hi!" She says. I know it's her: no one ever greets me except her. I don't answer. I want her to go away. "Don't you snob me Adam Eaton! I'm your friend… and I live next door."

"I have no friend." I spit angrily, though I know she doesn't deserve it.

"I'm the closest thing to a friend you have, then." Her tone is unchanged, as if she didn't hear the anger in my voice. I don't want to talk to her, I want to be alone.

"Leave me alone." I spit, looking down to my feet. "I don't want to talk right now." I try to sound determined but not rude, because I know Dad wouldn't like it if I bully his friends' daughter and it's not her fault but my parents'. Thinking about it, I don't know why I should care about that anymore, he lied to me all my life long. Even in the last few days when he told me about Marcus and we started training together, he was still hiding the worst of the story to me. I think maybe I could run away, but I'm not sure I could escape very long, because they have so many connections everywhere. I feel I have been trapped in their net of lies.

"I won't go unless you talk to me" she says with a stubborn voice. I look up carefully, and I notice she didn't even tried to leave. She's now seated on the bench next to me, and she leaned her head back to let the small ray of sun warming her face. I stare for a moment, following the lines of her jaw and nose, enhanced by the sun and shadow, and I feel the strange feeling back in my stomach. It's like happiness mixed with fear or maybe guilt. I like watching her when she doesn't know.

"What if you discovered your parents lied to you, and hid plenty of things about your family... Like they didn't want to have you at the time?"

"I would probably be angry, but I'd try to understand, why they decided it was better I didn't know. It usually has something to do with love and protecting your children, more that you being of age to learn about things. I know. My parents wouldn't say how my aunt Lynn or my uncle Uriah really died. But if you ask Christina, you might learn a few interesting things, she knows our parents very well, especially your mother." I open wide eyes to her. She always looks so quiet and docile, I wouldn't have thought she would cheat on her parents to find out things they don't want to talk about.

I have to do that. "Could you tell me what you know and help me learn more from Christina?" She seems to weigh it for a second but she answers "I will if you tell me what happened. Meet me in one hour in the old common room in the basement. The door is always open and no one ever comes in." I nod. "See ya then." She says.


	7. 7 Natalie: Learn and forget?

**A/N: The idea for the character of Judith appearing in the first part of this chapter, is from BonnieSilver888. I thank her for giving me the idea and plot line for her. I hope I'll be able to render it well. Don't forget to review :).**

**Natalie POV**

**Monday, October 7th**

I'm a little afraid. That's what I have been waiting for since I was 8, but now I'm here, I hope I'll make it. Maybe all the other girls are better that I am, I can see some of them look older… taller, and stronger than me. I recognize the newcomers because they seem as uncomfortable as I am.

A woman named Nora, according to her badge, takes my file and checks it, before giving me a key for my room. I suddenly feel proud and frightened at the same time. I'll be on my own, without my family for the next 8 weeks... Looked exciting, but sounds scary right now. She explains I will share with a second year student. It's a tradition here to do that, because it helps the first years socializing and feeling better in this big family, even if far away from home. The second years also have the responsibility to show us around and explain the rules to us and see that we follow them. If we fail, they can be punished in the same way than the trespasser. Wow, I start wondering if this was a good idea to come in here.

My roommate is named Judith. She did not come first at the audition, so I understand that, unlike me, her parents pay for her being a resident here. Nora says that parents are not allowed further in the school and Mom has to say goodbye now. I won't see her again until my next day out. We have sundays off but resident students under 15 can only get out of the school one Sunday afternoon every two weeks, and one week-end every 8 weeks or so. If there's a problem, parents can visit students though. I'm stuck in here till Christmas in fact. I hear the small voice again, telling me I made a mistake, but I try not to listen and look happy to Mom, because she's the one about to cry.

When I enter the bed room, I am welcomed by a nice looking girl, she looks a little older than me and definitely looks better. She says she's 15 and entered the school last year to become a ballet dancer.

Our room is simple but cosy; all the furniture has a light shade of grey and the curtains are light green. There are two small beds with a nightstand, and a wooden desk for each of us with a gray chair. I notice that every piece of furniture and bed linen, is stamped with the school emblem: a pair of red shoes entwined. Judith explains that it refers to an old movie about dancing, called "The red shoes" that was very popular in the 20th century. She says she's not allowed to tell me about it, because I will watch it in the first term. We also have a cupboard and a wardrobe where I start unpacking to. Judith shows me a small wooden chest under the window, and she explains this is the place to store our dancewear and shoes.

I notice that Judith decorated her side with dance painting reproductions from Degas. I know it because Mom showed me the book she has and I remember spending hours looking at the dancer's paintings, my favorite was _The dance class_ and Judith has pinned it on her wall too. I must think about decorating my part of the room too.

Xxx

Judith is really nice. It's been only three hours, but I feel I've known her for ages. She's like an older sister, who would exactly like the same things than me, and she has been really patient in teaching me the rules of the school. She also started to give me little tips, in order to get along well with the teachers, and important people at school. I understood she's planning on a career in professional ballet dancing, which is the hardest, as they pick only one or two students from each year, sometimes none.

I made notes to always wear old shoes in Miss Marker's French ballet's class, and never, ever wear green any time, when there's a show on that day. Judith says that some people in the theaters, believe green brings bad luck. All the meals are served in a big cafeteria, where if notice food's very different from what I'm used to. Judith says menus are especially designed to give us energy for training and gaining muscles, but avoiding us putting on weight or getting fat. I don't fear that at the moment because I'm the skinny type like Mom, even with the Dauntless cakes and muffins she baked every week... I miss them already when I see the yoghurt and fruits for dessert. Judith says we have treats on Sundays though, sometimes cake or something highly out of the rules, like a hamburger with fries or an ice cream.

In the afternoon I start my first dance class. I won't be with Judith in any class during first term. In January, they'll test all the first year on the same routine in order to know if some of us can step ahead, they usually promote only the best one and only if he or she really deserves it. Each end of term will be the same. That's the first lesson I guess: I've entered a world of constant effort, fight, and competition.

It's never been so painfully real, as I understand that we share our class with third year students. We begin with miss Hightower, who is in charge of the first year students during most of the first term. She explains that by the end of these first eight weeks, she'll know everything from us, which means every weakness of our body and dancing technique. The whole session is spent in doing the basics, all over from the start, to check how accurate each of us is achieving. I hear her criticizing harshly every fault in our moves, from the feet exact position to the angle of your head with your arm and the way you stretch your fingers.

By the end of the lesson I feel like running away or disappearing in a hole. I've been a waste: nothing was at least judged correct, as she had something to say about each position and move I presented, and supposedly none of them was close enough from what she expected. I thought i could be a dancer but know I have a glimpse of the hard work to come and I'm a little bewildered. What if I failed? I'm not used to this, even if I have hoped for it, when I was at school. I feel a little better though, when I realize she does correct the third years a lot too.

She says that for the next session tomorrow, we will have to show our routine to the other dancers. My hearts will probably stop, when I'll have to make mine. Anyway, no time to think, we have a math lesson next. I feel happy to go back to something I can do properly.

Xxx

**Sunday, October 20th at Christina&amp;Oliver**

I feel a little guilty to be here. I lied to Mom and Dad, and told them I had to stay at school to practice, and didn't want any visits today. Adam convinced me to join his Truth quest, but I'm not sure I'm so willing to follow him. He says he couldn't avoid kissing Mom forever so life is apparently back to normal at home... Except that I'm gone. We've never been to close but sadly, I feel that now I'm gone, he would need to talk to me.

They managed to corner Christina on a Sunday so I could join. Oliver is gone to the game park with the kids so we are on our own. They moved from the apartment in Hancock tower for a nice house about two miles from EJ Home and Education Centre, where we live. Zeke and Shauna have a big apartment same as ours in the same building so we're the closest neighbors.

Christina's house is very nice. You can see that, unlike our parents, she finally managed to understand what to do with colors, and she mixed them in the house, but each room has a different main shade. The living room is of a light grey/brown they call "mole". It's nice and warm, but not too bright like the yellow and green she chose for her kitchen and kids' room. We all seat on the couch and Christina takes an armchair facing us.

"Okay." She says while offering us some drinks and chocolate cake (Mom's cake is better but hers is acceptable). "You know I like to come straight to the point and we don't have much time, so what would you like to know?" We're all stuck by her being so open and willing to speak, I can't help wondering if she gave us to Mom and Dad about this visit. I remember what her native Candor faction was about.

"We would like to know more about what happened to our parents and you during the war. We know they don't tell us everything, they even lied to us. Adam is angry against them and I want to understand why they would do this."Alice says. "Tell us everything you know. " adds Adam.

"You know that truth can hurt, don't you? Maybe your parents hid things from you, they believed would hurt you, did you think about it?"

"That's what adults say to justify their lies to us children." Adam says with an angry voice.

"Well, let's go then. What you must understand kids, is that during the war, all of us lost a few people he or she loved. Have you eve had a close look at the wedding tree in your parents' bedroom?" Asks Christina. We shake our heads no.

"Well, you should, some day. When they got married, all of us wrote on it the names of the people we missed most. Your mom lost both her parents in one day, your dad lost a very good friend. Your parents Alice, both lost a brother or sister." Her eyes suddenly look watery.

"Who did you lose?" Asks Adam. He must have noticed too.

"I lost Will. He was the first guy I ever loved, Cara's brother. Tris had to shoot him when he was about to kill her under simulation. She could not avoid it, that's why I forgave her when I understood what had happened, but she has to live with it every day... And with all the others she had to fight against."

I now realize how awful the full picture is. Mom told us she had to kill her friend Will but she didn't mention it was Christina's boyfriend. Christina goes on and I'm scared that other terrible things are coming now...

"I also lost Uriah Zeke's brother. I liked him very much. He was hit by a bomb, and Tobias kinda helped the people who installed it. He was fooled by Nita, but I'm sure he will never forgive himself for that."

I notice she has to stop not to flinch. That's something Dad didn't speak about.

We all stay silent, Adam looks eager for her to continue, but I wish I could leave now, and I dart a desperate look to Alice. I think she knew about the bomb, but not about Dad helping in it.

"As long as you don't know how it feels to lose someone you love like this, you cannot really understand what your parents did. Some people let the grief consume them, but they fought, they wanted to do something to stop the waste of lives that was going on. And they were selfless, especially Tris is."

Adam is still wanting more though. "What else should we know?"

Christina seems to turn the ideas in her head to make an option about what part of the next piece of our parents life she has to preserve and she says. "I think what's left does not concern you Alice. Maybe you could go in Deryn's bedroom for the next few minutes?"

Alice nods and leave to go upstairs in the little girl's bedroom.

"Before we left the city, Tris had already nearly been killed three times. First was during initiation when three initiates tried to push her in the chasm... One of them was our friend. He couldn't cope after that and hung himself. The second time was during the Erudite's attack when Jeanine Matthews wanted her and Tobias dead. And third time was after they asked for the divergent to surrender to the Erudite. Tris did surrender, but Jeanine could not control her so she decided to kill her instead of experimenting on her. this time I believe was the worst one, because your uncle Caleb... Helped Jeanine. He was under her influence, but I understood he helped her willingly."

When she pauses here. None of us both seems to even breathe again.

"What you must understand though, is that we all decided to forgive each other for what we did, so you must not blame or hate anyone for that. It's an old story we chose to leave behind. But its still buried deep inside us, whatever we try to forget, it's part of what we are. I hope my telling you will really help you understand that things are never simple. Actions are seldom all good or all bad, black or white. I should say life is rather grey."

She pauses and suddenly jumps when I ask "Do you know if they really wanted kids? I mean did they want us?"

She turns a sad gaze to both of us "I suppose you could just see it like... they just loved each other very much. At the time, they were lonely and scared, and probably sad, and I suppose they were afraid something could go wrong that night. They did not plan you to be there but I have seen them, when they found out you had been kidnapped Adam, and I can tell you they love you more than their lives. I think it should be enough for today don't you? You should leave soon before anyone worries about you."

Five minutes later, we're on our way back, to the train when Adam says he wants to go and have a look at something and we should not wait for him. He kisses me goodbye, as I'm leaving straight to the school.

xxx

The phone wakes me up and when I managed to lay my hand on it, I can read 00:23 on the screen. I hear Mom's voice on the phone and I immediately hear angst in her voice "Nat, sorry to wake you up, but would you have heard of Adam today, he's not home yet and his cell phone is off. I'm dead worried."


	8. 8 Adam: Time warp

**A/N: Sorry it took me so long for an update. I've been terribly busy, both at work and home in the past weeks. Here it is though. I'll try to update more often while I'm on holiday. I wish you a Merry Christmas by the way :)**

**The title for this chapter is a tribute to ... The first who'll review what it is, will get a shoutout in the next chapter and the right to choose a name for a character in this story.**

**Adam POV**

I get out of the train and check around. I can see the planes on my left so I guess I must be at the right place. I try to look at the buildings around to find the right place from what Mom Dad and Christina said.

First I have to think about an excuse? in case I get caught while I'm in. I first run into the airport section, and buy a sandwich, a muffin and a bottle of water. If someone gets curious I'll say that I bring dinner for my dad who's on duty tonight. Maybe I should have prepared this part better, but now I'm in, I have to go on.

I easily find the broken fountain they told me about. It has not been rebuilt… to remember. I look at it for a minute and take a picture for Natalie, she will want to know. From here, I can find the building section easily with the directions that Christina gave me. I suppose Sunday afternoon is a quiet moment around here, because I'm completely alone in the square, and the corridors to this part of the airport, seem very quiet too. I risk an eye in the corridor I'm supposed to take to find the area where The Bureau was installed. Even if the area looks disused, I notice that the lights turn on immediately when I step into the corridor.

I walk down the corridor for a while, trying to recognize some of the places they told us about. I think I expect to find the control room; I'd like to know how it feels like to know that someone has been watching you during all your life without you knowing it. I know how it feels like when you're watched all the time though, but it was different: I was aware of it. I don't know why, but I feel it could help me feel better about my parent's lies if I manage to understand their motives.

After about a hundred yards, I come across a double door that says authorized personal only. This has never stopped me before, so I push one of them and go on. This time, I'm stopped by a heavy door which is locked by a pin code.

I started escaping home without my parents knowing it, about 2 years ago, and I've been hacking the government computers for over a year, so I guess I can figure out a way to get in there. I believe I could possibly make a career as a spy, even if I don't think my parents would accept this as a valuable career option. I started working on breaking into the bureau, during my summer holidays, and I have all the notes ready in a notepad in my backpack as well as in my cell phone, hidden in a locked file. First, I check for cameras in order to be able to get invisible from them, and I take the notebook carefully out. I managed to find a lot of things about the Bureau from the employees list to the supplies' orders. That's how I decided in should definitely see what was going on in here. I managed to hack one of the secretaries' account so I could get all the security information day by day. The only thing that wasn't mentioned anywhere was the location of it, so I hope I'm at the right place.

I calculate that, if I walk carefully with my back along the wall, I'm in the dead angle from the cameras and I can reach the pinpad easily with my arm stretched. The problem is that I can't know where the cameras are on the other side. I'll try to crawl on the floor to the wall, to avoid being spotted by the cameras. I put my hood on my head, just in case one of the camera would fall on me. I look at the door again, and I suddenly think that I've been lying to my parents for months about what I was doing in my bedroom. If I get caught I'm dead. Dad is going to kill me for this… maybe my family could get in trouble for this… I try not to think about it, I'd better try not to get caught.

I take a deep breath before trying the code I took note of last week. It changes every second week of the month, but Tracy, the employee I'm spying on, sends herself an email with the code each month. How stupid! Lucky for me though. I reach for the pinpad, taking care to stay away from the camera, and type the digits: 714324. The door opens immediately and I sneak in the second part of the corridor, holding my breath.

I notice that there are only cameras around the main doors, but I suppose they have placed some others in the most secret rooms of the compound. Along the corridor, I find empty offices, a janitor's room and a lot of plain doors with labels on them Control, Laboratory A, Exam room... I can know which ones are locked from the pinpads next to the doors. I know exactly what I'm looking for, but I try to have the best look around. I can hear noises from the inside of some room labelled Server Farm.

I finally find the secretaries' office. And I find Tracy's computer easily as there are only two in the room. I turn it on and after a few minutes of my best hacking techniques, I am connected to the compound system. I'm happy to notice there's nearly no one in today. Sunday was a good idea after all. Only two lab technicians and one security guard are on duty, but the technicians finish at 5:30 so I'll soon have the labs empty too. I make a note of the cameras positions in the corridors and in the main lab. now, I just have to wait for about 15 minutes to make my next move to the lab. In the meantime, I take a glimpse of the control room from the outside, because it has some glass panels on one side. It does not seem so big to me, and most of the screens are off. Maybe my parents exaggerated e size of it. I suppose it's smaller now though, because they took a lot of the cameras off from the city. Looking closely, I think the guard is mainly looking at views of the inside of this building.

xxx

Its about time to leave if I want to see something in the lab. I find my way easily from the plan I saw in Tracy's computer and I try my pin code to enter the room. Luckily it's working, and I feel my heart starting to beat again. I didn't notice I was so tensed. I move exactly as I planned, linking my moves to the dance of the cameras. As soon as I reach the clear area, I start looking around more carefully. I take a look at the Petri dishes in the incubator, check on the notes left on the table and, thank god, I lay my hands on a laptop, which is like Christmas Day. As I expected this one is not linked to the compound network, which is a sign I might find what I came for. I spend about one hour cracking the multiple layers of security, but finally I get in, and find the hidden section of the disk, where the touchy files are. I manage to backup all the locked files, which titles kind of tell me some story: vaccine, donors, patient 0, human testing, beta donor, Divergent subjects...

I clear the place from my traces and head back to the door, with the same camera- free itinerary. I reach for the door command but it won't open. I can see there's a pad on this side of the door too, so I type the code again, because they probably doubled the security for this room, in case someone would sneak in without a code. My heart stops beating this time, because the door still won't open. I wait till both cameras start turning to look at the pin pad. To my horror, the screen says "Out of hours code please". I don't have this one, probably a secretary wouldn't know about this part of the security and I can't access the security network again, because the laptop here is not connected to it.

I'm panicking now. I'm trapped in the lab until someone else gets in, so I will probably get caught in the morning. I also know that, even if I can figure out a way to exit the Bureau, I missed the last train to the city, and I can't walk home in the dark. I turn my cell phone off because I don't want them to locate me with it, and Mom called 6 times already because it's nearly 9:30, and it's dark and getting cold outside. I'm not so sure I could be a spy anymore... If I ever get out of here.


	9. 9: Missing

**A/N: Sorry it took me so long to update. Holidays are always busy times with kids and family around. Ill probably give you another chapter during the week-end though. Happy new year! :)**

**Still no winner for the title of chapter 8...**

**Tris POV**

I look at my watch again and say "Tobias, I'm really worried. He's done weird things, but he never left home so long without telling us. Besides it's getting late and he doesn't answer his cell phone; he has probably had an accident. I left 5 messages already. Do you think we should call the police or maybe hospitals..." I keep pacing up and down, since I'm dead worried about Adam. I can't even consider losing him again.

I turn to Tobias again "Now his phone is off, there's no way we can locate him now!" I'm on the edge of tears, now.

"Hey." Says Tobias taking my hands in his "Don't panic yet. First, we will first call some of his schoolfriends. We need to know where he was this afternoon before we do anything else. Maybe he stayed at someone's." He's trying to sound confident but I can hear he's worried too.

I remember that Adam left with Alice this afternoon. Maybe she'll know where he's gone... I hope she's not missing either. When I get Zeke on the phone, he confirms that Alice came back around 5PM but stayed very vague about where they had been all afternoon. He accepts to wake her up so I can speak to her for a minute and find out what happened today. She finally tells me the truth and says they were with Natalie at Christina's to ask her about the Bureau and a few other things that neither her parents nor us would tell them about.

I feel a pang of guilt when she explains that. In the end, she still doesn't know where Adam is because they parted after they came out from Christina's, and she came back a little while with Natalie only. She tells me, he said he wanted to pay someone a visit, but wouldn't say who, and she has no other clue, except maybe that he asked something more to Christina before they left. I try to ask her more about it but she says he wouldn't tell anything before they left. "You should ask Christina herself, if you really need to know…" Alice seems to hesitate about telling more, but finally, she just says "Good night. I really hope you'll find him."

I thank her a lot and I'm more worried than ever when I hang up the phone. I take a quick look at the clock in order to see if I can call Christina right now. I decide it's 11PM so I suppose it's now or never. Anyway it's an emergency now. Christina immediately understands how I feel and confirms what Alice just said. I question her about what Adam so much wanted to know before he left. "Oh my God! He wanted to know where the Bureau was located." She says. "I told him they probably moved the place completely by now, so there would probably be not much to see anymore... But, I could not imagine… Do you think he went to the airport to look for the place?"

My voice cracks, when I utter what's forming in my mind… "I'm pretty sure that's what he did." I say. "I'm so sorry." Says Christina. "I really didn't think he would go there on his own. Are you sure he didn't leave a note? I really tried to tell him not to go. I feel guilty I told him where it was, but I thought if I didn't Caleb or Matthew would tell him... And I was far to imagine..."

I cut her "I think you've done enough Christina." I'm cold and angry when I say "I'll leave you for now. Good night." And hang up before I start hating her.

I tell Tobias about what Christina just explained to me and we try to decide what's best to do now. We finally agree on Tobias going to the airport and see if he can find anything showing that Adam was there today.

I will stay home just in case Adam would come back on his own. He will call me when he gets there to tell me if I have to call the authorities to look for Adam. Before that, We give a call the police, just to make sure there was no accident or something, but the evening was really quiet and no accident or fight has been reported tonight. They make a note to call us if they find Adam somewhere later on.

Tobias is about to leave when the phone rings again. I take the call, filled with hope, but it's only Christina again. Before I can say something mean she explains she just remembered I didn't mention Natalie earlier. She found it strange because she was there with Adam and Alice this afternoon, so she just wanted to know if I had checked with her. I thank her for warning me and say I will try to call her immediately. Before I hang up she says "I'm really sorry, I didn't want any of this to happen. I hope you'll forgive me Tris, I should have told you and Tobias that they had come."

I can hear she's crying but all I can say right now is "I'll call you back."

xxx

**Natalie POV**

I'm completely awake when I hang up the phone. I told Mom I didn't know where he's gone, but I believe she guessed it right. He has been obsessed with the Bureau and all the things Mom and Dad told us recently about their past. I should have guessed too. I suppose I was fooled, because it's usually the sort of things he would discuss with me first, and sometimes take me in. It's not possible anymore though. That's probably why he didn't tell me. He's so bold, that I'm sure he didn't prepare this trip very well and got into trouble. He is as clever as I am, I've seen it on his computer stuff, but he always underestimates the risks, when I'm not here.

I notice that Judith has awakened too. "Hey, what's wrong?" she says "You can speak to me, you know." Judith comes to sit next to me and soon, it's like a huge barrage cracking, all my secrets start flowing like never.

I tell her that my brother is probably gone on his own, to a very dangerous place. I tell her about my Divergent family and my brother that had been held prisoner for 5 years in a secret compound where he was obliged to fight and confront his fears all the time. I cannot really explain to her what the life was just after the war around here, because she does not understand what factions really were as she is from outside the city, and she was hardly a baby when the war was on in the city. I tell her about my mean friends at school and my small brother, who is the only one who had a normal childhood from us three. I'm about to tell her about my parents helping for the vaccine but I don't. Mom wouldn't like it; this is her life, not mine.

"I'm so sorry for you" She says "I didn't understand you had such bad times. But don't worry, I'm sure your parents will find him. This place is not so big you know, from the outside it's a pretty small area in fact."

I'm glad she doesn't judge me or my family. On the contrary, she seems to understand how I feel about the others hating me for being too clever for them. "Do you think I should make myself lower than I am... Like make lies takes on purpose to reach the average level?" I finally ask

"No, of course not." She answers. "You should never be ashamed of who you are. That's why you're here anyway: because you were the best at the audition for the school, so I suppose you can be yourself in here."

We speak again for a whole hour, and it's about 2AM when we decide to go back to sleep... If possible.


	10. 10 Adam: Exit?

**Adam POV**

I'm panicking. I'm terrified and I can't figure out how to get away with this. I'm a little cold and I realize I haven't eaten since our piece of cake at Christina. I suppose eating won't hurt, so I grab the food I bought earlier, from my backpack. It's not very good, but my stomach is so clenched that I don't think it matters anymore to me. I try to think about a way to get out of the lab, without getting caught. I can't just blind the cameras and try to destroy the door opening system, because it's obviously under alarm, and the guard would be around in seconds. I can't blow the electricity system either, because I know they have an emergency supply for the security system. I checked that as an option to get in. I have thought about forcing the door on purpose to bring the guard in, but there's no way I could get pass him without being noticed: the door is too narrow and there are cameras everywhere around. If I escape, It is vital that I make it without leaving any obvious trace that I came in, otherwise they will search and find what I can't hide, like the login from Tracy's computer and my fingerprints all over the keyboard... And elsewhere. I know Natalie would have thought about wearing gloves.

I keep thinking about it but nothing that I come with, would work. I'm stuck and I'll probably end up in jail for spying on the government and if they crack my laptop I'll be in for a long time I guess. Maybe they would ask me for help to secure their system better. Suddenly I feel terrified. And what if they just lock me somewhere secret to torture me, and never tell anyone where I am. Mom and Dad would search me everywhere in vain. I have to shake my head to get rid of Marcus face. This monster will never go away, whatever I try to erase him from my memory. I shiver at the thought of his belt on my back, when I had displeased him. I'm not a kid anymore. I won't cry.

I keep looking desperately around the room, in hope something will come to my mind. I take a look at my watch and it's nearly midnight. I'm really sorry I didn't tell Natalie about it. She would have been able to tell Dad where I was and he would have figured out something to get me out of here. Now I will have to give him a call if I want him to help me and I'll be stuck at home for a year or so... Or maybe he will reactivate the tracker that Marcus injected behind my left ear.

I decide that if I don't find anything in the next hour, I will call Dad. It should still leave time enough to find something. If only I could access the system again, I could try to find the code, or...Yes! I have the idea. I don't believe I didn't think about it first. All I need is an Ethernet link and the access code to Tracy's account again. The lab computers are not connected to the internal network, but if I can connect my laptop to it with Tracy's ID, I might be able to do what I need to... That's if I'm as good a hacker as I think I am, and if luck's still with me. I rummage around the corner where I spotted an old computer that could possibly still be connected. It happens that the ing is unplugged, but thanks God, the cable is still here.

My last fear of the lab being completely isolated from the network proved false, so I can easily connect myself under Tracy's ID again. I look into the secret files of the network everywhere but it's just worthless, I could look forever, without finding it. It was pure luck that I hacked Tracy's account, who's sending herself the code. That is to say, that the codes are probably not stored in the computers, neither written on the service boards. I will have to turn to my risky plan B.

It takes me about one hour to reach the system core and find the program I need to modify. The last part of the job takes another half hour, because the security level is higher. I finally manage to get to it with a backing program on my own. I could probably make a job with this... Here I am: I can now access the system commands.

I stop a few minutes to get ready: I will only have a few seconds to get out and disappear. I prepare my backpack ready to go and erase any trace of my presence I can think about, and see in the dark.

I take a deep breath, before striking the enter key, and prepare to unplug the computer and go back to the door. I look eagerly at the screen where the clock is showing seconds that seems to go a lot faster than my heartbeats. If this doesn't work I'm dead... The window closes and opens a second after showing 01:53:34 PM. I yell in my head while I close my backup and reach the door less than 5 minutes later. This time, the day code works normally and I make it to the secretary's office again. I have to reverse the process if I want my visit to stay unnoticed.

I realize it's about 2:30 when I finally get out of the compound and head to the broken fountain. I think I put all the program back as it was and the guard didn't move. I erased the multiple logins on Tracy's account and the last one will be registered at 2:15 PM, so that won't be odd at all. I know she's not on holiday at the moment. I can't help breathing the fresh air, like I had been underwater for hours. I will now have to think about a way to come back home now... I stop immediately at the sight of the fountain square and step back, but it's too late, I think he spotted me. Both of us wait for a few minutes for the other to surrender, but I know I can't win this fight. He knows I'm here and he's been trained to this. I can't escape a chase and I would need to go home some day.

So I just step back from the corridor and face...

**_A/N : Here it is. I promised another chapter this week-end and you got it. Sorry it ends with a little cliffie. Review if you want more :)_**


	11. 11 Adam: Facing him

**Adam POV**

...my Dad

I'm about to speak, but as soon as I open my mouth, he stops me. "Don't say anything before we get to the car" he says with this tone that means you'd better not try an answer.

That's good for me though, because it will give me some time to think about a lie, to avoid telling them what I really did. At least, I want to keep it a secret, until I know for sure, what I laid my hands on with the downloaded files.

I'm glad that Dad does not grab my arm or push me. I suppose I was afraid of that, but he didn't even yell at me or anything. I realize it's weird, just like his order not to talk, until I notice his gaze, constantly looking up and round, checking for cameras. Maybe I'm dead when we get home...

By the time we reach the car park, my lie is ready. Hope he goes for it...I follow his very moves, just like each of them was a step to the slaughter. He grabs the key... looks for the keyhole, a little because of the darkness around... He seems to struggle with the door, is he trembling or...

I finally hear the familiar click and we're safely seated inside the car. Well... safely might not be the right word for my situation. Dad turns the engine on and leads the car to the exit. I'm puzzled, because I thought he would talk to me immediately, before we leave the place, but I don't dare moving an inch or utter a sound. After a few minutes' drive, he stops in a residential area and turns his cell phone on.

I can't hear the voice on the phone but I know it's Mom. "Yes, I found him." he says. "You were right. Go to sleep now, just a little talk to do, and we're on our way again, try to rest a little."

I probably should feel bad for giving Mom so much trouble, but I can't. I try to concentrate on my hands down in my lap, that are clenching and unclenching frantically when I realize that he is looking at me.

"So what the hell did you think about? Your mother was dead worried!" he yells "I don't think there's an excuse for what you just did, but I give you 1 minute to tell me." says my Dad coldly turning to me. His tone suddenly sounds worse to me, than if he was actually yelling…

I take a deep breath and dive. "I… I wanted to sneak into the bureau… to have a close look at it. I discovered that Mom and you lied to us so much lately, that I wanted to check it by myself."

He turns to me and though the light is dim, I can feel his eyes piercing my head. I'm not sure I should go on so I close my mouth.

"So you came alone, to this overprotected and most dangerous place from what I know, without telling anyone -_I know that was stupid_\- Are you just mad? Maybe you could have asked questions first?"

Someone said the best defense is attack, so I go for it... _Anything but telling him all the truth_. That's how I decided to tell him part of it. "I don't believe in your answers anymore. You lied to us... Mom, Christina, you… all of you. So I decided to find out by myself.

"What on earth did you expect to find, that we didn't tell you?" His voice has turned to icicles, I know I hurt him and that's suddenly worse than his yelling before.

I know I can lie to him pretty well, and I have to be good, because I sure won't be able to fool Mom. If I can convince him, he will tell her and she'll take it all.

"l... I managed to reach the housing section and the compound, but I couldn't enter the secured area and finally got stuck in there, because they have a security code after 6PM, so I had to wait for the night, hidden in a janitor's storage, to sneak out after someone else without being seen. The problem is that there's nearly no one in on Sundays I guess. I had to wait for ages before someone came in." I feel I should stop here and I look up. I'm not sure he believes me but I can't read his mind.

"And what's your excuse for not answering your phone?"

"I had to turn it off because there was a security guard patrolling in the corridor and after that… I forgot." I say sternly.

He turns the engine on again and says "OK. We'll go back home for now. Well think about your punishment with your mother tomorrow. Don't you think you'll get away with that Adam, that was foolish and dangerous. You're heading to bad times lad."

While we drive in silence, I try to think about how I can avoid to have my computer confiscated when we get home...

_**A/N : Hello everybody. Sorry I haven't updated for such a long time. My work and family took my time in the past months. I'll try to get back to regular updates from now on. **_

_**This chapter is not very exciting (I got a small writer's block on this one) but it is necessary to get where I need to…**_

_**Thank you to my lovely readers who did not drop it when I was gone :)**_


	12. 12 Teenager's problems

**Natalie POV**

I open my eyes and look around…I feel dizzy… did it happen again? Oh no! I didn't want it to happen here, in the middle of a dance class! I fainted twice last week but it only happened in the morning when I woke up. Now I'll be in much trouble.

Miss Lavinia comes to me and I quickly get up "It's nothing really, I probably didn't eat enough at breakfast, I can go on…I'm fine." I say.

She looks at me severely (she's pictured as a dragon made woman at school) and says "I told you ladies not to let you starve to look thinner for the examination! I will suspend the ones who try this game with me! For you lady, you go to the infirmary for a checkout… now!"

By the tone of her voice, I know there's nothing to do but obey, so I pack my things and leave the dance class…not without noticing a few satisfied smiles on my fellow students' faces…

If I fail, most of them will gain a step in the end of term chart. I think I'm second at the moment.

While I'm waiting for Mrs. Paxton the nurse, I try to recall if I really ate less than usual this morning but I realize I haven't changed my breakfast for months. I start to worry about something being wrong with me. Maybe I have been stressed so much with the exams that it makes me weak, but I don't really feel anything wrong except my tiredness. Do I feel depressed ? Nah.

The door opens. "Please come in says the nurse." I've only been here once before when I had a sore ankle after I failed a jump.

I explain everything very honestly to Mrs. Paxton, hoping that she will know a good reason to all this, that won't be too bad for me.

She stays completely still and starts for a full checkup. I can see her frowning from time to time and finally, she decides I will have a blood test done, just in case I would lack of vitamins or magnesium. She explains that everyone is different and I might need more vitamin supplies than my friends.

I have to come back in 3 days to discuss the results with her.

I don't know why I have a bad feeling about all this.

**Adam POV**

1:0 AM

It's late but I try to go through the files again and again, just in case there's something I missed in one of them. I have a pretty nice picture of what happened now: I found out how they've been researching for years with my mother's DNA.

From what's in here, I understand that some members of the research team messed up with the eggs she donated years ago, trying to create some kind of superior humans. I believe that's why Matthew and Caleb have been so angry with the lab 2 years ago. It appears that they started running short of "raw material" as they name it.

I read reports about experiments on embryos that seemed to have created born dead monsters. The pictures make me sick.

What's worrying though, is that a few of the most recent notes are mentioning us, the kids. Some Doctor Osbourne is suggesting in a report, that they should use our blood and cells to get more material for research, especially mine and Natalie's. Reading it bought me straight back with Marcus years ago in the Fort Sheridan labs. Some others talk about cloning us or worse, interbreed Natalie and me, just like animals. The only flaw in the plan so far, seemed to be that they couldn't find a safe way to get their hands on us…yet.

I decide to do something about this. I grab a small notebook and start writing down all the important reference I can find about the people who are running this program.

As I dig carefully into the files and I come across reports about our family, addresses, dates, our schools and subjects…they seem to have had copies of our school results and records. It looks as if they've been tracking us recently…just in case they would need us at hand.

_**A/N : Yes I'm back! **_**_Denisa, your lovely review gave me nerve to go back to my story._**

_**Sorry again, I haven't updated for such an awfully long time. My work and family come first, but I think it will get better now so I'll really try to update a little more from now on. I've got the whole story ready, just need to be written… but not that easy to write though…**_

_**Thank you for following my story anyway and enjoy this small chapter.**_


	13. 13 Adam : Christmas eve

**Tuesday December 24th**

**Adam POV**

I hate Christmas. It's not merry, it's not happy. Except for Theo. He's running everywhere with his new games, trying to find someone willing to play with him.

Christmas sucks. Especially today.

Everyone will be marveling at Natalie's achievements as usual, just because she came first at her stupid school's term examination. _"and you know, she got it right even though she's been ill for a few weeks you know." _I hear them already. I hate her. Her blood test was normal anyway, so why doesn't she feed herself properly and give me a rest for once. Just when I started to get back mom and dad just for myself, she manages to focus attention back on her again.

My only achievement this end of term is that I've been stuck in my room for a week because Mom punished me for the fight with Galen Rickworth. It's been the second time in a few weeks, that I saw that awful look of disappointment and sorrow in my mother's eyes. It's so much worse to see her look at me like that, than getting yelled at or punished. I feel a complete failure and so useless in addition. I hate her being stern and cold to me for days, like I'm some stranger to her…or maybe I am when I go too far off the tracks. This is when I would like her to hug me again like when I was 6. I sometimes envy Adam for still being his age. I can't tell her I really would like to be able to keep everything under control, but there's something wild in me that will never be completely gone, whatever they try to polish me from now. I suppose it's what Marcus took so much time to raise in me for years. I can't kill it now, I've been trying to for years and I just can't fight it all the time, and worse…I realize I kinda like it when I hit someone,… the monster in me likes it…power. Maybe that's why I can't achieve as much as Natalie, I spend too much energy dealing with the violence inside me.

Anyway this prick of Galen deserved his broken nose, so I don't feel sorry at all. I'm not the one who started it all, but my records of fights didn't help. He was boasting about Her being a slut, but I know it's all lies. He didn't see Her naked or anything he said. The others did believe him though. I definitely liked the moment I cornered him behind the garden barracks. He knew I can fight so well and his white anguished face was delight to me. I didn't need to punch him too much in fact. He tried to get away but I'm a lot faster than him. I made him swear to take it all back about Alice if he wanted to keep all his teeth. Breaking his nose seemed to be a proper warning.

_Maybe she'll drop him now he looks like a bruised defeated boxer. _I can't understand why she would date him at first anyway. I should have said yes, when she asked me for this stupid party, none of this would ever have happened.

After I punched him, Alice hated me I could see. She'll be here tonight. I don't know what to tell her because I'm not sorry at all. I don't want to lose her. She's my friend. My best friend… If she was just that, I wouldn't want to be in his shoes so much. Let's face it, I love her, but I won't let her know.

I don't care about the punishment though I've got plenty to do with the stuff I found at the bureau. I'm so angry with Natalie that I haven't told her yet. Anyway it's not an easy thing to say _"Hey sister, someone would like to use us as guinea pigs for a few genetic experiments…know what I mean? I suppose an egg or two will be a good beginning. Oh and… you know, they don't need your brains, just your body…parts."_

She wouldn't understand anyway. She was never here with Marcus and the others. She never had to kill another kid.

_And it's not her fault._

xxx

I jump when someone knocks at the door. It's Mom again I guess, I must be late to help for dinner.

I shout "Coming!" while I stuff the computer in my desk, just in case.

The door opens and I stay frozen on the spot. It's Her… Alice. She dressed up for the occasion and she looks just gorgeous in her night blue dress. My stomach clenches, I feel bad. I didn't expect her so early and certainly not in my bedroom alone. I understand I had planned on having other people around for dinner, to avoid a one to one conversation with her.

As I don't say anything she asks "can I sit down or what?"

"Oh yes I answer, of course you can."

I still don't know what to say but I guess she does, so I sit down the opposite side of the bed (which allows me to look at the wall instead of her) and wait for her to start.

"You know you're a jerk don't you?" she asks calmly. I try to look intensely at my feet to say defiantly "So what?"

"Did you really have to punch him and break his nose? How on earth can you guys be so stupid? Can't you just talk?"

I suddenly feel guilty though I don't really know why. This time I look up to meet her eyes. "What was I supposed to talk about?"

"Us." She says.

"There's nothing to say about us, and that's your fault." I say defiantly. "Am I the one who refused to come to the party?" she says frowning.

"You know I hate those parties, so why do you try to drag me in one?"

She comes closer and I try to sit back but I can't. I'm at the edge of the bed. She raises her hand and I think my heart is about to explode. I can't help a defensive move when she reaches my face and I grab her wrist right.

"Hey, easy." she says releasing my grip "Nothing to be afraid of." I try to answer her that I'm not afraid, but she's suddenly kissing me and nothing else exists. I had never imagined that such a sensation was possible. I forget that I was shy and afraid, I forget my clumsiness and anger. All I can think and feel is Her.

I feel a sudden cold when she breaks apart and gets up. She whispers "They'll start wondering what we're doing in here…and I bet you don't want them to find out right now do you ?"

And the next moment she's gone.

_**A/N : Told you I was back. This is a girl power chapter as long as a Christmas special that will have 2 episodes at least.**_


	14. 14 Merry Christmas

**Tuesday December 24th**

It's nearly time to eat and we're just waiting for Matthew. He's late like every year, probably buried in some new tests about his vaccine. He's been telling us he's nearly there for about 2 years now. I wonder if the sacrifice we did years ago **[A/N see " Broken part 1" chap. 53]** was really worth it. I suppose research is not that easy though, maybe he really thinks he is about to reach his goal.

Christina and Oliver arrived half an hour ago and Zeke and Shauna followed her. I make a note investigate why Alice seems to have lingered in Adam's room for a long while. I'm always afraid they're on another dangerous plan such as infiltrating the bureau. Whatever I say –or don't say- he won't let me know what they're up to.

Maybe I'm mistaken. I probably see all in black, because Caleb and Cara had to cancel at the last minute. Her pregnancy is not going on too well and she has to stay in bed for a few days. I'll pop in to see them both tomorrow. I'm a little worried about her, because she has been really tired though the baby is only expected in march.

I hope dinner will be fine. I'm not sure about how much more time I can leave my orange lacquered turkey in the oven to be cooked and hot, but not dry. I've been cooking a beautiful Christmas cake I found in an old cookbook. I decorated it with Theo with sugar candies Christmas trees and mushrooms. He spread the icing sugar on top, just like snow. I'm quite happy about it.

To my relief, I hear them at the door. The dinner might not be a disaster then. I'm curious about Matthew's new girlfriend, who happens to be his assistant too. I risk a step out of the kitchen to say hello, and I refrain a "wow". This is a very beautiful young woman. She just has everything for her, as the look on Tobias and Zeke's faces can say. Her brown hair and green eyes are gorgeous and I suppose some would kill to have her figure and legs. I'm ashamed to realize I do wonder how she could have chosen Matthew while she could pick up whoever she wants, which is actually really mean...or jealous?

I smile at her anyway, and invite everyone to have a seat. Now we have family and friends, I'm glad I picked up this place with a big sitting room where everyone can fit occasionally for dinner.

Everyone starts eating and drinking and I think this evening is finally going to be very nice. I can't help feeling grateful for this moment with all my friends, and especially tonight, where we all seem to have found happiness, I think life's really worth it.

**Adam POV**

While the evening's going on, I feel I'm nervous and I can't concentrate on the games and conversations going on around me. I keep thinking about what happened earlier. I can't help closing my eyes briefly just to try to feel it again for a second, but it doesn't work very well. I keep trying to look at her, but I do not want to meet her yes because I'm afraid that something would show on my face.

I've been planning to find a way to sit next to her, but not with Natalie around. This miss why I wait until the table is nearly full to end up at the nearly far end of the table with Alice on my right and Natalie has to sit the opposite way because there's no more space left on this side. I'm not planning to tell secrets to her during dinner, but I feel I'll be able to hold her hand or brush her knee under the table. Thinking about it, I don't see why I should want to do that but I do.

The dinner is hell for me. I'm not interested in the adults' discussions about their jobs and cars or kids problems. Christina is always talking about her kids, and Matthew is boring us with his 35th experiment that will surely this time, lead him to a major progress within a few weeks. I don't listen to the younger ones either. I'm in a kind of day dream, where I try to decide if Natalie would notice, if I tell Alice to get up and meet me in my room tonight, when everyone is asleep. Her two sisters won't be staying overnight, because one's too old and the other too young to have made friends with Natalie and Me. I suppose I nod to them from time to time without listening, when Alice takes me out of the dream -though she speaks quite low- "Will you finally tell us about the Bureau tonight?" she asks. "You promised you would, when Natalie would be back for holiday."

"OK" I mutter. "We meet in my room after dinner. I'll put music for secrecy. " and louder "Now let's speak about what we would like to do next Thursday. We're still on holiday!" Natalie gives me a nasty smile to say "tired of being stuck in your bedroom at last?"

I dart back a nasty look to her. Why does she have to be such an asshole sometimes? Maybe I won't tell her what I know and let her rot in hell if they catch her.

**Natalie POV**

Adam has been awful tonight again. I haven't seen Alice for months, whereas he can see her at school every day, and I'm sure he sat down next to her on purpose, to avoid us both talking together. Anyway we'll catch up, Mom said she could stay overnight in my room if she wanted to. I can't wait. I have so much to tell her.

I'm curious about what Adam would have to say about the Bureau. I'm sure he's pretending about what he found to attract our attention for something else than being punished, stupid or violent. He made secrets with his computer but I know dad searched it and got nothing from it. I heard him talk about it with Mom. I didn't tell Adam that dad broke into his files, because he's always boasting around with his computing superior skills. Wait till dad catch him! I'll have a good laugh then!

After a long discussion, we agree on the Nickelodeon for our day off. We suppose it won't seem risky to our parents and sounds fun enough to us. I even managed to obtain some substantial funding from dad for lunch and sweets, which really is like Christmas.

I didn't want her to talk about it right now, but Mom insisted on telling Matthew about me fainting all the time at school and no one would know why. I turn to her and say angrily "Know what Mom? I already was alone all the time because people at school hated my brains, now they'll think I carry some strange disease. That's just great! I don't need to have a name on it on top." Matthew says that it's important to know and offers to take a new blood sample from me tomorrow, as they've got all sorts of tests available in their lab. He is sure he can find why I feel so exhausted, if there's anything to find though. Don't know why the bad feeling is back again, just talking about it. What if I fail my year because of that? Matthew is always sure of things that never happen in the end though, but I agree for the tests, because I know Mom will feel better If I do it. She trusts him whatever he fails.

**Adam POV**

Dinner's finally over. I feel it has been several days long. It's time for Matthew and Christina to leave with their families. I suppose Shauna and Zeke might stay a while, because they live just next door.

I ask my parents if we can go in my bedroom to listen to music with Alice and Natalie. Everyone agrees if we don't put it too loud because Theo will go to bed.

I get into my room first and start looking for music loud enough to cover our conversation but not too much because of Theo. I finally go for .

"Close the door." I tell Natalie. She gives me a look that says "Do you think I'm stupid?"

The girl sat on the bed while I was turning the music on. I try to decide what will happen if I sit next to Alice in the tiny space left at her right when she takes my hand to drag me at her side. She leans obviously on my shoulder and I can't stop a grin at the sight of Natalie's half puzzled half angry look at us.


	15. 15 The new Bureau

**Adam POV**

"What the hell guys!" says Natalie looking at Alice nestled in my arm. "Are you dating together? Adam you're joking me?" she asks joyfully, looking at me and waiting for me to laugh or take a camera out, but as nothing happens she just stays silent for a while.

I say nothing because I feel this is more between Alice and her, than her and me. Besides I'm not totally happy that Alice broke the secret immediately. I wish we had more time just for us alone. Now I'll have to have Natalie with us too much. I start counting how long it is until she gets back to school.

Then turning to Alice Natalie goes "I thought you were dating that pompous guy from school…Galen? Since when are you with my brother? Could've told me!"

"It just happened tonight says Alice. I didn't want to lie to you so now you're in. Hope you're on our side, are you?" she takes my hand in hers.

"Who do you think I am? Adam can be a total jerk, but he's my brother and you're my best friend. I'll never betray you….but you were snogging her just before dinner didn't you?"

_Then why does she have to be so annoying if she's on my side_? I think.

xxx

I'm about to answer meanly, but I think it'd better change the subject before it gets too personal or touchy, so I say "Ok, now let's talk about the Bureau."

I go on "Do you both know what Matthew is exactly researching about?"

Alice looks puzzled but Natalie says "I remember it's some vaccine but I'm not really sure about what it is supposed to cure. Mom and dad seem to understand it but I didn't really try to. What's the link with the Bureau anyway?"

"When I sneaked into the Bureau, I manage to get my hands on heavily protected files. Mom and dad don't know about that. From what I've found in there Matthew's been working on a vaccine to allow everyone to be like us: divergent. This is why our parents gave him genetic cells to work on. What it means really, is that they're working with embryos made by IVF from our parents to obtain pluripotential cells."

Natalie says frowning "Sounds bad to me. I had not understood that our brothers and sisters to be, were actually used for research. It's like killing them before they're born isn't it? But anyway I still can't see the link with the Bureau."

I go on "I discovered that the Bureau has been discretely interfering with Matthew's research and over the years, they stole a big part of the embryos they had, to work on a different purpose."

"Which is?"says Alice raising a worried look to me. _I have to avoid her gaze because I want to kiss her so much._

"From what I read, it looks like trying to build an army of divergent soldiers and rulers to take over the country step by step. They designed a plan to infiltrate every part of our government and services. To some extent, they will also need a vaccine but it is not supposed to be given to everyone who needs it but only to the chosen ones."

"I bet Mom and dad did not know about that bit…" Says Natalie pensively.

I go on "I read in the reports that a few months ago they messed up. They had been trying to boost the cells growth but for some reason, the cells stopped duplicating during the process and the embryos died. I understand that now they only have 2 viable embryos left, that are in Matthew's lab. The rest is gone. The latest reports were referring to needing Natalie and I to produce more embryos. They seem to know everything about our family."

Natalie asks "What do you mean YOU AND ME? You're not talking about embryos made out from both of us are you? She looks disgusted as well as Alice. "I'm afraid that's what they're thinking about." I answer sternly.

Alice bursts out "You can't let them do that! That is insane. You should tell your dad, he will be able to stop them."

I shake my head. "I don't know if it's the right thing to do. I don't quite understand what their next move will be."

Natalie really looks worried "You don't believe they could kidnap us or something do you?"

I feel Alice's hand pressing mine.

"I'm not sure what we should do. I don't think they would do something too openly, you know, with dad ruling the city, but they could try to take one of us by treachery. If so, we might have a hard time escaping, because they seem to have a lot of connections in the government. We can't always stay together either, because they would know we are aware of what they're trying to do. They could just want to kill us all…"

"OK" says Natalie. "I think we should think about it for a while before deciding anything. We can't call the police or just pop in with guns. We have to weigh every option." _My sister definitely got brains._ "Let's say we will talk about it again and decide on Thursday after the day out, OK?"

We both nod in agreement. "I think we should all go to sleep now." she adds getting up.

I feel my heart stricken when Alice gets free from my embrace to follow her. Then Natalie turns back to us and says with a wink "You can stay here together. I'll cover you up for a few hours if you want to have time on your own." _I feel grateful to her. Is my sister getting nice in the end?_

"Thank you" I can't find something else to say.

The door closes and Alice curls up into my arms again.

**A/N: Please let me know how you like this story so far. Review!**


	16. 16 Night

**Tris POV**

It's late when we finally manage to go to bed but I don't regret the work for tonight's party. It's been lovely to have everyone around for one evening…except Caleb but I try to tell myself it's for the best of all reasons. I'll definitely pay them a visit tomorrow. I'll bring them some of the huge leftovers and we might not eat the same thing for days.

I slip into the bed and I cuddle myself next to Tobias to feel his warmth. I must be tired, I'm cold. He does not respond and when I look rather sad and upset.

"Hey! It's Christmas, we had a nice day, smile! What's wrong?"

"Today was really nice, you made everything perfect, and I think all our friends were happy. I'm just concerned with Adam. Did you notice he's been absent minded during dinner and he went straight after to lock himself up with Natalie and Alice for hours. I'm not sure they're in bed yet."

"Let them be! They have teenagers concerns to talk about and I suppose a whole table of adults is not the best place to talk freely. It's just for tonight, let them party their own way!"

"I suppose you're right. I'm just a little worried about him. I think I should have found more time for him in the past weeks, after his fight with that Galen guy. I'm really sorry I didn't have more time to practice with him and help him mustering his violence. It's because I'm having a rough time at the council house these days. Things are not going as well as I planned about the food and energy supplies and the city keeps growing."

I look at him with pleading eyes "Why not make a break from worries? Just for a day? I promise you can worry again on Thursday. I got you a special Christmas present."

"Hmm, sounds interesting". He says. "So did I. You go first, your ideas are always better."

I can't help a grin "No. You go first. I want a surprise"

He gets up and grabs a book sized flat green gift box, with a little red bow on top. I turn the small package into my hands. It's reasonably heavy, thin and when I try a shake, no sound comes out of it. "Shall I guess or can I open it now?"

"You choose" he says.

I can't wait, so I go ahead and unwrap it quickly. It's a medium thick notebook, covered in blue shining leather with tiny stars and a locker with a tiniest key. Another small package inside reveals the most beautiful fountain pen. I haven't seen one for ages. Not since I was in abnegation. I remember dad using one when he was signing important papers in the name of Marcus. This one is a plain shining dark, (it says Bakelite) with golden carved letters that spell "_64ever"_ I smile like a 5 year old. I say "my father used to have one"

"I know. The note book's bound to be a diary." I thought you might need to empty your troubles in here sometimes. The pen reminds you I'll always help if I can, but I suppose the diary will make a better listener than me…"

I kiss him on the cheek. "Thank you so much, I love it." I carefully take the big box I stored earlier from under the bed. "Open yours" I say. "Be careful, it's a little fragile."

I see a glimpse of curiosity in his eyes, while he unwraps and opens the box. He takes it out and starts turning the object slowly in his hands.

I explain because he looks puzzled "It's a real camera. Not one for spying. It's been designed to make beautiful pictures. Oliver helped me choose it, he's a very good photographer. He said he will teach you."

"I'm not sure there are so many beautiful things to photograph out there."

"You're just too much obsessed with your work and all the problems around. This will help you see the world in a different eye, some kind of non superficial and revealing sort of way. A few years ago, I used to love the way you transformed things into something simplest and valuable. I want this back….Can't wait to see your pictures."

He gives me a long kiss and simply says "Thank you. I like it." He seizes the camera again and turns the objective on me.

I lift my hand to hide myself and say "No. I look terrible." He starts taking pictures anyway and answers "You're the most beautiful thing around. I'll start with you."

xxx

It's 4 AM when I wake up sweating and cold. I had this awful nightmare again. I was back in the Bureau and I was alone in the compound. I was looking for Tobias and the kids and no one could be found. I would run along the corridors, opening every door and the people inside would stare at me like I'm mad and shake their heads with a sad look. In the last room I would meet with Marcus and David. They looked at me and Marcus said with a grin "Why do you keep looking for them? They're all gone. You remember do you? And it's all your fault. You knew what would happen if you resisted us." Then David would add "Now be a good girl and go back to you room. And no shouting necessary, OK?"

I went out and started running back trough the corridors but this time they're endless and I'm trapped, I can't get out of here… and I woke up, heart pounding.

It has definitely ruined this night. Even if I try to remember the most pleasant things we did straight after the pictures, the good feeling's gone and I'm still cold. I seem to realize just now that I'm still naked. I don't want to wake him up by cuddling next to him again so I get up very slowly and put on some PJ's and head for the kids room to check. Theo fell asleep with a broad smile on his face. I suppose he's dreaming about the new bicycle he'll get in a few hours.

When I open Adam's door slightly, I have the biggest surprise to see that he's sleeping with Alice's head on his chest, both still dressed in their party clothes. I decide not to wake them, he needs it. As I close back the door, I also know I won't tell anyone.

Natalie's room is last. I don't know why I always check on her last after my nightmares. Maybe it's because I thinks she's so much stronger than the others. I can see her night's not going well though. She looks like try to escape or repell something in her dream. I don't want to wake her because I read it can be worse for people to be woken, but I can't help brushing her hair lightly. I can see she seems to calm down.

I go back to the living room and I decide to install the kids presents under the tree to keep myself busy. I hate those nightmares.

**Natalie POV**

I lie in my bed and look at the wall where my favorite Degas' ballerina painting poster is pinned.

I'd like to change my mind, but I can't help thinking about what Adam just told us. I wish Alice as here because I must admit I'm afraid. I start regretting my offer to give them time together.

Didn't want to voice it but they need me more than the guys

I'm a little afraid to give him my blood but I can't let Mom guess that I know about his research and what the Bureau is planning to do with our DNA.

The image of dead embyros comes to my mind and I feel bile in my mouth at the thought. I'm actually quite confident he won't find much because they've done tests 2 weeks ago already and said all is absolutely normal. I understood they had thought of diabetes because the symptoms are really close from what happened to me.

Anyway, I think I'll pop into the dance class at sports centre tomorrow. I need to practice if I want to pass the next term final exam. They gave me a second chance because I had to miss the one before Christmas but I know I won't have another one and my routine has o be perfect.

I decide this is a good idea to go through my routine in my head again and again, I hope it might drive me to sleep.

I suppose it does the trick because when I open my eyes it's 7:23 AM.

_**A/N : Here you are. I believe the chapters are a little boring at the moment because I hardly get reviews, but they are important to get to the next part of the story. They sort of plant the scene…**_

_**I promise some things are going to happen very soon next chapter is the start of it all. Please please review!**_


	17. 17 Tris: A new fight

_**A/N : Here is the chapter that will launch the second part of the story. It will start it all... Please please review!**_

**Tris POV**

I'm happy we saw Caleb and Cara today. She seems to accept pretty well being stuck home all day. They say she should also lie most of the day but I think she might twist that order a little. I just popped into my office to prepare the checks I need to post tomorrow.

I'm buried in my work when my cell phone rings.

"Hi Tris, it's Matthew. Are you home?"

I'm surprised by his tone of urge but I don't dare asking more on the phone so I just say "Hello Matthew, I'm at work at the moment, but I'll be over in like half an hour if you need me."

"Sorry to call you on Christmas day, I need to talk to you and Tobias; Tonight when kids are off to bed. Please make sure you'll be here both of you. It's very important but I can't tell you anything right now."

I'm puzzled "Huh… Okay then, we didn't have anything planned tonight so come around 9PM, it should be quiet."

"Perfect, see you tonight then."

I can't help being afraid. What is it he can't talk about it on the phone…or maybe someone is listening to us. I always wonder if they stopped watching and tracking us.

xxx

For once Matthew is on time tonight. He's alone and looks tired.

Matthew asks us to sit down and the couch and he grabs a chair to sit exactly in front of us.

"Ok. Let's not hide it, I don't have good news with Natalie's blood test. I performed most of the usual tests but I also tried a few other ones I knew they wouldn't have performed for a first exam. They go for the most common affections you see…Some of the tests I did aren't even available for hospitals but I have them all for research..."

He seems to look for encouragement from our side, but none of us dares to speak.

He breathes in deeply and goes on "I discovered that Natalie has a leukemia, it's a blood cancer and it's pretty bad, I'm sorry."

I put my hands on my mouth to turn my yell into a muffled moan. It's all back again...that pain I've known before when I discovered they had stolen Adam. I feel Tobias stunning next to me.

Somehow, he manages to ask "How bad is it? There is probably a treatment?"

"She developed a Chronic myelogenous leukemia. It is a cancer that starts in blood stem cells. Stem cells are basic cells that develop into different types of cells that have different jobs.

To make it short, leukemia develops when blood stem cells in the bone marrow change and no longer grow or behave normally. These abnormal cells are called leukemia cells. After a while, the leukemia cells crowd out normal blood cells so that they can't do their jobs anymore…and you're ill."

I can't utter a word; I'm stunned by the news. I feel like my worst fears suddenly came to life. I can just clench my fists really hard and I realize my head is slowly and repeatedly shaking no.

I feel that Four's back when Tobias coldly asks again "How bad is it Mat?"

Matthew seems uncomfortable "To be honest…I haven't had much time to research on it yet, and it's quite rare, but I reckon it's usually very bad. From what I read, it's really difficult to get through it, I'm sorry. I really think you should find some more advice from a cancer specialist. I haven't found a record concerning someone this young. I suppose she'll probably be able to fight and maybe have remission. She would have better chances though if we can get a bone marrow transplant done quickly. We would have to find a compatible donor of course."

Tobias stays silent for a second then asks "But it could take ages before there is some possible donor who dies?"

"No, It's not actually necessary for the donor to be dead, but the surgery is extremely risky. They could die or get paralyzed."

This glimpse of hope seems to light something in me. I hear myself asking "I'll do it then."

"No Tris, you can't. You're not compatible remember, because of your blood group; actually the best donor would be Adam or maybe Theo..."

I shake repeatedly my head no. I can't stand it anymore. _Not my kids, not my kids again. _

I can't help yelling "No way. Not the boys. No…No…" I have to get out of this nightmare now. I run for the balcony and I stay here breathing in the cold.

All my world, that seemed so nice and peaceful 2 days ago just crumbled in a second. A bombshell exploded in my family life.

I can distantly hear Matthew and Tobias speaking inside and I understand Mat is leaving. I know I'm being rude but I want to stay here. The biting cold seems to distract my mind from the pain inside.

I hear Tobias coming from the entrance door and he joins me on the balcony. He is shivering but still, he takes me into his arms. This is when I let go and start crying. I feel grateful he doesn't say anything or try to stop me from crying, I need it.

The night is clear and some stars are lightning one by one… I look at the sky because I try to avoid his gaze.

"You should come back inside, you're going to freeze." He says.

"I wish I could. I wouldn't feel anything."

He strokes my head "We will find a way to cure her. We will do everything possible. I promise."

I lift my head to meet his eyes and it hurts me to see he's silently crying too. "But how can you fight this? You heard Mat: we have to risk the boy's lives to save her! You and me are no use! I hate it." I'm sobbing like a baby now.

He grabs my shoulders and looks into my eyes "Hey, it won't help if we both got a flu or turn into ice cubes, so please come inside and we will make plans about what to do next, OK?"

I look hopefully at him. I know how hard it must be for him to try to look calm. I nod and let him get me inside.

When we step back in, I refrain the urge of going to the kid's rooms to check if they're here and alive.


	18. 18 Tris: War plans

**Tris POV**

I wake up at dawn. I can see a ray of light outside the window. Tobias is still holding me in his arms. I think he didn't sleep at all. Maybe he was afraid I would do something stupid. The thought of it scares me and I shiver.

"Hi. Are you cold?" he asks softly. I turn my head to him "No, I'm fine. You've been awake all night, haven't you?"

"Yes, but it's okay. I'm used to it. I've been trained to keep the watch, remember?"

"So you've been watching over me?"

"Did it work?" He says smiling weakly and stroking my hair.

"At least I could sleep."

I don't want to leave his embrace because it makes me feel so safe from what's waiting outside. Maybe if I stay like this forever it'll disappear like my nightmares. Maybe I'll wake up and it will be over and this conversation with Matthew would never have happened. I have to find a way to fight this.

He seems to notice my stubborn expression and says "What are you thinking about?" He frowns "Please don't do anything without telling me."

"I'm just trying to understand what's happening. It's like her body's betraying her. I mean how could you fight this?"

"Matthew told us how; you just don't want to hear it."

"No I don't. We have to find some other solution. I won't let Adam or Theo have this surgery. I already had Adam take a risk when he was 6 to save you. There was no other way, I had no choice; and I won't do it again."

One name suddenly comes to my mind: _Caleb_. If someone knows what to do it's him. He's the one who found out why Tobias had been blind after being shot in Fort Sheridan. I remember Caleb saved his sight with his guess about the drugs' poisoning.

"I think we should ask Caleb" I say "He has access to all the erudite knowledge as well as what's in the labs. He might help."

He shakes his head no. I can't help wondering if it's because he still doesn't trust him completely because he tried to kill me. I know he has changed over the last 15 years though. I feel like the person who tried to kill me was not really my brother, just like Will was not himself when he tried to kill me. Tobias takes me out of my dark thoughts "This is not Caleb's subject." He says quietly. He seems to have read my former thoughts, because he adds "I don't doubt his abilities but I think we should go to a proper oncologist first. I'm sure they'll be able to advise us something to do, and maybe they'll know some other way to cure her. And first of all, we have to tell her."

I realize with a shock, that I was so much in my own pain and worries, that I didn't even think about how we were going to tell Natalie that she's very ill, and might die if we don't find a solution. I suppose it could be just a first step announcement for now, like she's ill and we're trying to know more about it (which is true). I decide we shouldn't spoil her day out at the nickelodeon and wait until tomorrow. It will let us time to make research and plans.

I say "Let's wait until tomorrow then. It will give us time to figure things out…and it will give her one more day to be a normal teenager. I suppose she will have to stop dancing, she will take it badly." My heart sinks. I know she's strong when she has an objective. She would do anything to dance; but what if she finds no more reason to fight the cancer because she won't dance again?

He goes on with his idea "Things have changed you know. The time when we could not trust anyone is over. We have to look for help, not only from family and friends. We have to find the best help we can for Natalie. I could use my position to get her the best doctors in Chicago if we need to."

"You're right. I suppose I have spent so much time trying to sort things by myself; that I don't even think there are other people outside whose job is to help or cure people. The problem is I can never be sure it's all over."

"Tris, you have to stop being paranoid. The one good thing about Adam's visit to the Bureau, is that we know there's nothing left to fear over there. Otherwise they would have tried something after he tried to get in. And my dad is dead, so who would ever want to harm us?"

"I know I'm being stupid." _I say it but I don't believe it._ "It's just because those nightmares never stop. I can't help thinking they're a warning, but they're probably just a mother's anxiety and nothing else." _But what I think is that they don't know Adam tried to get into the Bureau. I know what he is capable of with a computer. I'll never be sure there's nothing to fear unless I know David is dead too._

I put my head back on his chest and close my eyes. I told him what he wanted to hear, but I'm not convinced of it myself, and I'm afraid he might read inside my thoughts if I look at him again. Doctors did not help when he was blind. Thinking of what happened 7 years ago, I remember something interesting: Fort Sheridan labs had huge files of citizens, with a lot of medical records on everyone. This is giving me an idea to help my daughter, but I'm not sure I should tell Tobias about it. If I could find a way to look into these files, I could maybe find a donor by myself. That's brilliant! I will need help though, and I know where to find it… I wouldn't need to explain why I need the files.

He makes me jump "Do you want to sleep a little more?"

"No, I have a lot to do today." _Careful_ "We have a lot to do today." _I have a new war to deal with… but he must not know._

_**A/N : Look for the clues and please review!**_


	19. 19 Adam: War games

**Adam POV**

"I'm tired" she says after her fourth ride on the wheel. I can't help staring at her…I find her so beautiful with her cheeks reddened by the biting cold. "Let's go for lunch, I think we have plans to prepare." After a short discussion, we decide to go to the "Chicago Bull's Diner" People say it was named after a famous sports team. What I know is that their burgers are delicious, and you can get a free donut with your meal. I let the girls go first. I wish it was gallantry but truth is I want to make sure I can sit next to Alice or in front of her. I see that Natalie thought about it too, because she winks at me when she heads opposite to Alice's seat.

After we have ordered I start "I have been thinking about it and I think we have only 3 solutions:

1-Destroy all their research files, but I'm not sure it would stop them trying to do whatever they're after. It could even make it more essential for them to have us at hand.

2-Destroy the whole compound, but we would need to find a way to do it without hurting anyone. And that bloke David would need to be fired of course.

3-Kill that David and all his staff and make look like an accident. He tried to kill mom anyway."

The girls both look at me with wide eyes and fear shows on their faces like I'm some kind of monster.

"Are you serious?" asks Natalie " Are you … quietly talking about killing someone?"

"Not if I can avoid it." I respond, trying to sound more sure about it than I really am, "But that's an option, yes."

"That's stupid. Killing the head of the Bureau won't necessarily stop them. You're not even sure this David is still running the compound. Mom and dad said they had neutralized him but it's not so sure it worked, from what you've read. You'll see there's always someone to carry on anyway. Mom and dad erased a lot of people's memory to stop their twisted genetic experiments, including David, and still we had Marcus keeping you prisoner, and now the Bureau's back after us. Killing people sure won't help. We need to be cleverer than that Adam."

"Don't call me stupid! What would you do then Miss Brains?" I ask mockingly. I feign being interested in my burger to hide my anger.

And then Natalie starts lecturing me "I'm not sure yet, but if you destroy all their research, you will also destroy what mom and dad tried to do by giving them their cells: find a way to cure people. Not just cure the future babies by vaccinating their mothers, I mean cure everyone. This is why I don't think it's a good idea. The better option for me would be, to copy everything they've done first and then only destroy it. Uncle Caleb or Matthew will probably be able to do something with it. You're right to say It would need to look like an accident to avoid being accused. It seems that they don't know you've discovered their little secrets, and I know dad had the security records for that night erased by someone. I heard him tell mom."

That part of her prattle raises my attention. "You heard that dad did what?"

"I told you he had the security files of the airport erased by someone, to avoid anyone noticing you got into the bureau."

"That's good, it means they don't know I got in at all then… That will be easier to do it again."

Alice who had been silent from the beginning says "You're not seriously planning to get inside again do you? It's sheer luck you escaped last time! You're completely mad! What if you can't get away with it this time? Couldn't you do it all from outside, I mean with the computers?"

"No, I couldn't. I'm a good hacker…maybe the best in town, but the computers that operate in the secured lab are not connected the external network, so someone would have to get in to give me access to those."

Alice adds stubbornly "I think we should ask for some adults to help. We can't do that alone. First, they'll never let teenagers like us enter the compound. You must tell your parents what you found."

Natalie looks at her with that superior attitude I hate "Alice! Don't you see that dad isn't possibly going to help us in his position? As the city mayor, he's not supposed to trespass against laws remember? He sure can't help. Mom on the other hand, could be trusted doing illegal things... But we cannot rush. She could also sell us straight to dad, and if so, we're all dead guys… Thinking about it, I would go for Uncle Caleb instead. He's brilliant and he can keep secrets. I'm pretty sure he could take us in."

"So you think the first option is the one?" I ask.

"Sorry Adam, but I don't think destroying the compound or killing people is an option at all. And before we start doing anything to get in, we have to think about how we will leave the city when we have copied and destroyed the files."

"What do you mean leaving the city?" I ask puzzled.

"You don't believe we can go on living quietly in Chicago do you? We will have to leave the city and hide, just like mom and I did years ago. Not just you and me, all of us would need to go. If just you and I managed to disappear, they would probably go straight for Theo. Remember we had to stay away from dad for years, because we were afraid of them. Maybe they would threaten our friends too. That is why we have to prepare it carefully, without the parents guessing about it of course. We have to leave no trace."

I'm speechless. It strikes me like a blow, to realize what she guessed in a few minutes. I'm suddenly scared. I can't help squeezing Alice's hand in mine. _I can't look at her now._ I don't want anyone hurt. If we try to stop them, they'll know, and we will be in danger. All our family will be in danger.

I realize I'm not hungry anymore. My stomach clenched completely 3 seconds ago.

"Do you think it's still worth it then? I mean I didn't think we would have to leave and forget our previous lives. Maybe there's another way that we didn't think of?"

Natalie looks sharp when she answers "If what you found is right, I think we are already in danger, Theo and both of us, I mean. Until we find some other plan, I suggest we go on with this one, but let's not stop looking for another way to get out of this mess."

I say sternly "You're right, we need more time to prepare this properly, and I'll have to think about a way to leave safely if necessary."

_I can't tell her why we don't have that much time though. They will soon know that she is a woman now, the only thing they have waited for to use her… _I don't want to imagine what they could do if they ever catch her, it would take me back with Marcus again. I suppose I don't hate her after all. I quickly say "We will go on tomorrow then. Let's not ruin our fun day talking about this for hours OK?"

"And what about me if you please?" says Alice, "Will you leave me out?" I can see tears welling up in her eyes and I wonder if it is because we just spoke about all our family leaving the city.

"No. You're with us of course. See…let's meet again tomorrow evening in the old common room. We need to prepare the main part of this plan before Natalie leaves for school on Sunday. And I believe she's the one who can obtain help from Caleb if we need some."

We leave the restaurant at 2:30 and there's still a lot to do, but the rest of the day is not as bright as the beginning. Everything seems to have a bitter after taste of _maybe it's the last time you do this together… _

I suppose this is why we get home earlier than we planned.

"Hello." says mom when we get back home after dropping Alice at her door. "How was your day?" All I have in mind is the way Alice kissed me a few minutes ago. The "last time" syndrome has its advantages…

Natalie answers for both of us. "It was fine. We had a good time together."

Mom turns back and says " Please be quick, we have dinner in 20 minutes. When we enter the dining room, mom says "Natalie, your dad and I need to talk with you tomorrow morning. It's important, so don't leave and go shopping with Alice or anything before we can talk OK?"

"Ok" says Nat with an annoyed sigh.

I wonder why mom and dad exchange a quick glance behind her back…

_**A/N : Here is the next chapter. Enjoy and please review!**_

**_This chapter I dedicated to my brother who was a fan of the Chicago Bulls._**


	20. 20 Tris: CML

**Friday December 27****th**

**Tris POV**

I'm cooking some breakfast. I've got the pancakes dough ready so I start frying them when I hear Theo and Nat getting up. I know Theo will come straight to the kitchen, driven by the very smell of them. Natalie needs to have her shower before anything else. She always had her comfort, you see, unlike Adam.

It is not before she's perfectly groomed that I see her enter the kitchen. I say "Hello Natalie. Had a good night? Have a pancake: I got jam, maple syrup and honey out for you if you wish. Theo is trying to draw a face with the maple syrup on his plate and he's spilling it up everywhere around. "Theo! Will you stop playing with the food!" I burst. "Had I done that when I was your age, I would have been punished for a whole week."

"Why don't you tell us about when you were a kid?" asks Natalie. "You never talk about it, or about your parents."

I'm a little surprised but I respond "I shall speak about it someday, but today's not the right time for it. Please go on and put your plates in the sink when you're finished. And Theo, don't skip brushing your teeth, I'll know if you do. Nat, we need to talk to you this morning after breakfast, remember?" She nods. "Tell me when you're ready then." I leave the kitchen when I have the 6 last pancakes ready. Adam will have to reheat them….

She calls for me about 20 minutes ago. I check that Theo is quietly playing with his model train and Adam seems to be still asleep, or maybe he's faking... Tobias and I join Natalie in her bedroom.

Tobias sits on the only chair so I have no choice but to sit on the bed next to Natalie. I notice that after all these years he still finds it uncomfortable to be close to the kids. I sometimes wonder if he still fears he can hurt them. As everyone is still silent I suppose I have to start speaking. I hate it but I go.

"You remember Matthew offered to make a few more tests with your blood sample?" She nods again. I feel she knows something bad is coming.

Well, to make it clear, he discovered that you have a blood cancer, a Leukemia. It's rather rare and serious. I make a stop here to look at her. I see her flinch and I guess her mind's racing to integrate all the consequences of what I just said. She's biting her lips now and asks quite coldly "Will I die?"

I try not to cry. I noticed she didn't say _can_ but _will_. I won't lie to her. I look at Tobias for help, but he is watching the floor. He doesn't want to face this...and I can't blame him really.

"We don't know much more at the moment but Matthew said that different treatments exist. What you have is very rare though, and some people die. But you're young and strong. We won't let you die. Dad got you an appointment with the best oncologist in Chicago. Tobias finally lifts his gaze at her. "We will go on Monday at 10." he says, "The three of us will go."

I open my arms to hug her but and I start "I'm sorry darling..." but she pulls back. I'm a little taken aback. She says with a hard look in her eyes "I'm not a baby Mom. I can handle this. Do you know if I can go back to school next week?" I'm surprised about what her main concern seems to be, but I answer "I suppose so, but it depends on what the doctor will say. I don't know if you will still be able to dance a lot sweetie."

I can see her taking the blow and I'm sure that something is breaking inside. I try to crawl back "Maybe the school can wait till you get better you know. I can give them a call to explain."

"No I can explain myself. Just wanted to know. Can you leave me alone now? Please. Thank you for telling me. I need to think about it alone now." This is unexpected and we're both stunned by the way she handles this. As none of us moves, she yells "Go away! Now!"

I finally guess she doesn't want us to see her crying, so I get up and make Tobias understand he should leave too. I say "We're not far, if you need us." But I know we're useless to her at the moment.

At lunch Tobias tells me he's taking Adam to Dauntless headquarters. He planned a fighting practice with him. Sounds a good idea because he didn't give Adam much time in the last weeks, but I suspect he just didn't want to stay with Natalie all afternoon, because he doesn't know what to do. I know she's been crying all along till lunchtime. It broke my heart to hear her so for once I did bless the kitchen sounds to cover her sobs. I suppose Adam heard her too, but he didn't ask us anything. Maybe he thinks she's punished and happy about it?

xxx

In a way, I'm glad that Tobias left with Adam this afternoon. Unsurprisingly, Natalie left with Alice for a walk that will probably end up in a confession about her illness. I know that sometimes it's easier to speak with a friend than your mother. I suddenly think about my own mom. I try to see her face again; it strangely hurts and makes me feel alone. What would she do? Fight certainly but I'd wish I knew how.

I decide she would try to save me without risking another of his kid's life. Just at the thought I remember this pain I have felt when I discovered they had Adam... I remember the nights in Fort Sheridan, when I couldn't sleep and tried to listen with all my senses in alert to be sure he was all right. I remember holding his little hand while his was giving his blood to Tobias. I won't endure this again. I have to find a way. I shake my head to chase the thoughts. I have to start it now.

If I want to find information about donors, I first need to locate the files we got at Fort Sheridan 7 years ago. If I manage that, I think I have a way to unlock them. As I have access to a lot of the files, I start from here. I was given access to all the kids' records, in order to find out if they had living relatives that could take care of them. For the kids, I have the medical records as well, so I will search for kids with the same blood type, invade their parents could be possible donors. I'm greatly disappointed when the computer only gives 3 names to me. And only one of them has his parents still alive.

I have to go for the other files then, the staff's records and the one that we discovered compiled all information about Chicago's citizens and their DNA. It's from before the war but I hope to find someone who's still around. The problem is that these files have been stored somewhere else by the government and I don't know where. I try to make research in different secured departments but it gives no result. Never before did I regret so much to be such a disaster with computers.

I will need him then. I hate it, but there's no other way.

xxx

**Sunday December 29th**

Tobias is gone to the city hall for an electricity problem. The cold has frozen some part of the old power network and 300 people are now waiting for the city staff to repair... Today of course.

This is my opportunity. I call him in my office. He is not usually allowed to get in so he looks puzzled and clumsy. I say "please leave the door open so I can hear if Theo is not preparing some disaster. Sit down, I have something to ask you."

I take big breath and go "Adam, I know you're a very good hacker." he opens his mouth to deny but I stop him. "Don't try to deny it, that's why I need you. If I'm right, you have already found out how to access your father's secured account to the city network. I need you to look for a file for me, copy it, and unlock it if necessary. I suppose there will be some kind of password or encryption when you get it. I need you to do this for me without telling anyone but me, and if possible you will leave no trace of it. Especially your father must not know."

I see him weigh my proposal and he goes "I probably can do it if you give me enough information about the file: date of creation, author, content and so on. And I want you to tell me why you want me to do this, and why I shouldn't tell dad.

And I explain to him that Natalie has got a Leukemia and that I hope to find a compatible donor in those files. I don't want to mention that he could possibly be the right donor though.

He looks at me and says "Why don't you tell me everything?"

"What do you mean?"

"I heard you talk with Matthew about the Leukemia. I know he thinks I can be the donor." My own son suddenly scares me but I don't want to know how he overheard us...or did he spy on us?

"So why did you ask me?"

"Just to know how much I can trust you mom. Don't worry I will help, I will do whatever you need to save Nat, but please, tell me all you know, and tell me the truth OK?

I nod "I will. But I want you to stop spying on your dad and me."

"I was not spying. Not this time at least. My door was ajar and you woke me up. I will stop spying on you both. I promise. But can I go on spying on the others?"

"What!?"

"Joking mom!"

**A/N : I hope to post 2 more chapters in the next days. After that, you'll have to wait… so enjoy.**

**Thank you for taking time to review. I'll take PM's too.**


	21. 21 and after

**Saturday January 11th**

**Tris POV**

I try to sleep but I can't.

I'm still worried. I know the oncologist is pretty sure that one of us will be matching for the bone marrow transplant, but I can't help it.

I discovered that Matthew had it partly wrong in saying we had no other way than Adam for the transplant, because it is a matter of HLA (Human leukocyte antigen) typing , which is not the same as ABO blood typing. The doctor said we receive the markers 50% from each parent so it's likely that someone in the family matches but not always. I understood an adult donor must match at least 6 out of 8 HLA markers, but many transplant centers require at least a 7 of 8 match, which seems to be difficult to find. We agreed to have a test for all of us, even Theo, because Tobias insisted we should know what options are. I don't like it though. We should get the results in a few days. I hope that Tobias or I will be compatible.

I know that they say the transplant is completely safe for the donor nowadays, and everything will be all right, but I know that an adult is likely to go through it better than a child. And it is also clear that there is a risk of failure. He explained that, sometimes, the transplanted cells recognize the recipient's cells as "foreign" and attack them. That can turn pretty bad for the transplanted one. I don't like it either. I know that doctors nearly always enhance the good side of things and minimize the risks. I remember… every day.

Anyway, I still stuck to my backup plan, just in case none of us is compatible. Adam didn't locate the file yet, but he can't look too much for it not to be spotted on the network.

I try to sleep but I can't.

I keep thinking about Natalie back at school. What if her state gets bad? Will she let me know? I know the doctor said he needed a few weeks to arrange for a treatment and so she could go back to the dance school, but I don't like it. I know she won't spare herself and I'm afraid she exhausts herself and weakens her body. I have read about Leukemia and treatments seem to be very aggressive.

I feel his kiss in my neck, but I try not to move, to let him think I'm asleep. He goes on kissing me and I feel his hand on my hip, looking for the end of my T-shirt.

I don't want to let him guess I feel nothing right now, so I grunt "let me sleep." Hoping he will let down.

I'm sure he knows I wasn't sleeping because it's the third time this happens since Christmas, which means we have not been intimate for weeks. He says "Tris, what's wrong with you? Are you angry with me?"

I groan "Nothing wrong. I'm tired that's all. And I'm not in the mood really." I shouldn't have said that but it's too late.

This time he sits up and turns the light on. "You're not leaving me again are you?"

I turn around to face him, so it gives myself away that I was not sleeping. "What do you mean?"

"Every time pain became too hard, you have gone away from me. You know I want to help you but every time I try, you despise me and go away. Please don't do it again. Stay with me this time and let's face it together."

It strikes me hard, how this sounds right. I'm trying to sort this out on my own again, without telling him about my plan. Am I so selfish now, that I can't trust him anymore? Or maybe I feel stronger on my own. I was not like that before.

"You think I can't understand don't you? Just because of this crap about being a mother and having your children in your own body that is so different from what men understand."

Things are going a very nasty way now. I respond "Not at all. I know you care. It's just that we have a different way to deal with things, and mine is to... sort of… get inside myself. I need to be on my own. I just need more time."

"And what if I need you? You're not just a mother you know. We're a couple, remember? We should rely on each other." I swallow that one. I never really thought about him. I was so concerned by dealing with my own pains and worries that I realize I never asked myself if he coped with it, or if he needed help at all. I'm suddenly ashamed of myself and I don't know what to say to this.

He goes on "Please say something."

"I'm not sure you want to discuss this now. I don't want to argue with you."

"Maybe we should argue a little: at least that would resemble talking."

"How dare you tell me this, you're the one who is unable to talk to Adam and Natalie. You leave all the bad news for me to explain, and stay here looking at your feet. How do you think I feel about this? Is that the couple sharing you're talking about?

I see him flinch and I feel satisfied that my blow hit him right. My anger rises now and I'm so tired and worried that I can't control it. "Sometimes I feel you take more care if this city than your own family!"

"You know we have this food supply problems for months. And it's getting worse with the snow. I try to keep everyone fed in case you didn't notice! Anyway, I have never been so good at talking, you know that... I don't know how to speak about the bad news, but I thought I could talk with you."

I respond harshly "So that's convenient isn't it? You don't know how, so I have to do it. That is unfair! And you notice that I always try to deal with our family problems first, which doesn't mean I don't have problems with my job too. I don't want to go on arguing with you."

I get up and leave to sleep on the couch; I don't want to go on.

"Tris! Come back and talk to me!" I turn back.

"You don't want to talk; you want me to say what you want. You want to make me feel guilty because I don't care about the food supply as much as I care for the kids. You want me to say that I am okay for a transplant for Natalie. I'm sorry I can't. So have a good night."

I close the door without turning back. I immediately regret it but I don't know what to do now. Instead of staying on the couch, I go to my office to work. At least I can try to do something useful, but when I sit down, I burst into tears.

**A/N : Here's the next chapter. I apologize if there's some doctor or nurse reading this, because even I try to research about the medical or scientific topics, I'm afraid I will never be accurate enough. So sorry for any mistakes about treatments or symptoms or hospital rules in here…**


	22. 22 Natalie: Simon

**A/N : Please forgive any mistakes about treatments or symptoms or hospital rules in what follows.**

**Friday January 24th **

**Natalie POV**

I try to recall the last weeks. I wish it all happened to someone else. The sole idea of it brings tears to my eyes.

Going back to school was a nightmare. I did not speak about my cancer to anyone because Dr Sanders said it might go on better with the treatment I started after Christmas. I had to tell Judith though, because see could see me take the pills at bedtime. I naively thought that maybe I could finish my year, before I should start the Interferon treatment. I know that one won't let me go on dancing because of all the nice side effects of the injection: muscle aches, bone pain, fever, headaches, fatigue, nausea, and vomiting. Great!

What I didn't expect was her treachery. She spat out my little secret to everyone in our year, just days after I told her. Of course, someone finally told it to the headmistress. Mom tried to intercede but she said that no matter how good I was, someone with a Leukemia could not stay because the school's insurance company wouldn't pay if I got a problem. She said my scholarship would go to someone else and I had to be gone by the 15th January. Now my life is worthless. I hate afternoons here, they seem to last a whole day.

Adam came round on Wednesday. It was a good surprise for once. He told me they had the results for the test on the family members. Mom Dad and Theo are not compatible but Adam is. This is pretty good news because his match is 8 out of 8HLA markers and being twins, most of the other matching criteria are 100% correct. He said the only small thing that is not perfectly matching is the gender. Of course…

He told that Dr Sanders said it might change his mind about delaying the transplant. Adam reckoned Mom is still frightened about it, but he volunteered anyway, and Dad has agreed with him that he should be the donor when I need it.

He said that Mom is now angrier against Dad than before-if possible- which sounds bad, because they barely spoke together from what I saw when they brought me back from dancing school 10 days ago.

I'm really glad that Adam volunteered for the transplant, and somehow proud of him too.

I didn't want to talk about my treatment all day long so I suggested so we went on with the plan about the Bureau. It was not very effective though because Adam did not have time to work on it and being stuck in here, I couldn't have the private conversation I need with Caleb.

xxx

I keep thinking about the last days, and how this awful trap did close around me. I decide to sit down on my bed and start reading the book Mom gave me last week. It's called "Charlie and chocolate factory". She says it will change my mind because it's a kind of fairytale from the old times. I believe she just wants me to stop reading what she calls my "cancer books". I got them all sent by Uncle Caleb, he's great for that because he can access virtually any library in Chicago. I know he tried to kill Mom when they were at war, but he's always been nice to me. Mom was really angry when she found out about those books though.

I hear a knock at the door and I really hope it's Alice. If not I will say I'm tired. I feel alone now that Judith betrayed me and I'm stuck in this hospital because of her. I'm surprised though when I see a tall boy I haven't seen before, enter the room. He is holding a perfusion on a hook, rolling behind him. I follow the tube until the middle of his forearm.

He also is totally bold, so I can't help looking surprised, because I can't help picturing myself like that too. Looking better at him, he is very handsome except for his missing hair. His eyes are a deep shade of blue grey and his face looks like carved as a statue. Even though he looks pale, his skin is a little tanned. He seems to be at least 16.

"Hi." He says with a bright smile. "I'm Simon A.L.L. Harvey L.C. told me you arrived 3 days ago but I'm sorry I couldn't be here to welcome you. I'm usually not that rude, but the last shot they gave me got me to bed for days."

He comes close to my bed and sits down on the closest chair.

"I'm Simon A.L.L." he says and noticing my strange look "I've said that already didn't I? I've been here for 9 months, so I know everything you need to know. And I heard you're our first miss C.M.L., let me check you're a star!" He gets up and grab my file at the end of the bed. "Let's see... So you have to be Natalie C.M.L. then." I think this guy is probably mad, but I say with some annoyed tone "You must be mistaken, my name is Eaton. It's written on the file." I'm not sure I want him to go away though, I'm curious.

"No Miss." He answers pompously "Once you're in here, you're named after your cancer. My initials stand for Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia, pretty bad one, but rather common. Yours is very rare, you'll be our first Chronic Myelogenous Leukemia. Sounds sooo serious. So you have to be Natalie C.M.L. Nice to meet you." he says, and he gives me his hand with a smile, so I shake it timidly. It feels warm and strong. I smile back at him.

"Did you have a treatment yet?"

"No I think they're doing only all sorts of tests at the moment. I heard them speak about Interferon and chemotherapy." Thinking about it, I don't know why I'm here talking about my treatment with him. I hardly know him, but I must admit I have a good feeling about him. And he definitely is very handsome. I wonder how old he might be exactly, the bold head is confusing. I ask "How old are you?"

"I'm 17 and you?"

"14." Don't know why I try to look older…

"Too young to die then." he says with an enigmatic smile.

I feel uncomfortable with that, so I say "Why do you talk about dying?"

"Because we're here to avoid it, so why avoid talking about it? It scares death to know we don't care."

"But I do care."

"Don't say it then." I suppose he feels there is need to change the subject too, so he asks "Are you from Chicago?"

"Yes I've lived here most of my life, but I used to be in a different place when I was very young."

He takes a look at his watch and says "Oops I should have been back in my bedroom 10 minutes ago so I can have tests before another great shot tomorrow. I believe if the shot doesn't kill me, the cancer won't either. I won't be able to come back in the next days after that, but if you feel like coming round I'll teach you what you have to know. I'll show you around after dinner so you'll know where everyone's bedroom is. Everyone interesting that is. He heads towards the door, pulling his perfusion carefully behind him. The door closes behind him and I strangely wish he had stayed longer. I close my eyes to think over it again.

Could something nice come out of this mess?


	23. 23 Adam: The person you really are

**_A/N Sorry guys I've been away for a while. I was on holiday, looking at the beauties of our world before someone blows it all up..._**

**_I promised I would update but this next chapter is harder than I thought and it will probably be divided in two or three parts. Here is the first one._**

**Friday January 24th **

**Adam POV**

I meet with Alice after school as every Friday. It's the only day that Mom and Dad agreed I could come back home later because there's no homework.

We both enter carefully the disaffected common room. We like this place because it is always empty and they left two old sofas and a tea table inside it. The sofas are moth eaten and pretty uncomfortable, but in winter it's the only refugee we have. We also found the key to the room which allows us to store things in here or lock us inside if needed.

I sit down on the couch with the greenish velvet. I reckon it is the most comfortable in here. She sits down on my lap and I put my arms around her waist.

"Can I come with you tomorrow to see Natalie?"

I grunt "If you really want to."

"Hey what's wrong? You sound strange. Don't you want to visit Nat tomorrow? She must be bored to death, alone in hospital."

I answer kindly this time "No I'm okay to visit her, I just don't want to talk about her illness."

She raises an interrogative look at me "Why?"

"I have my reasons."

She frowns "Adam, you're not afraid that you will have it too do you? I thought they said it was not genetic."

"No! I'm… concerned about the transplant. I'm a donor for Nat so I told the oncologist I would do the transplant if it is needed. Dad is okay with it but I know Mom still disagrees. Now she's angry with Dad because he supports me and she wants me to go on with some other plan she has. I don't really know what I should do with it."

"Maybe she has good reasons to be afraid of that transplant?"

"They say it's safe but you never know, she wouldn't tell me what she fears. And now I'm afraid about the transplant too! But don't tell Natalie or anyone else."

"Are you still going on with your Mom's other plan?"

I notice she still didn't ask exactly what the other plan is "Yes but it doesn't seem to be as easy as I thought. I need to go through a huge amount of data and I still haven't found what she needs. More : most of it is encrypted and takes ages to decipher."

She strokes my hand "Tell her if it's too hard."

"No. I have to do it, just in case the transplant would fail, or I wouldn't have the guts to do it."

"You will. You're not a coward. But maybe even your genius in computers in not enough to get what you Mom needs."

"I have to find. I could not forgive myself if I fail."

"Why don't you let go? You never surrender and accept defeat. You're not a computer you now."

"I can't stop. I know that if I fail, someone will suffer. It has always been like that…always."

"You scare me. What are you exactly talking about?"

I hesitate. I never told this to anyone. I decide I have to trust her with everything.

"When I was…there, Marcus had noticed I became hard to punishment and beating so he decided to punish someone else too, every time I would fail. Once, he nearly killed a 10 year old boy because I had lost a fight. He would beat a little girl flat when I failed a math test. This is how I learned that someone always pays when you fail."

"But Adam, this is evil. Marcus was evil. You have to stop thinking like that. He's dead!"

I close my eyes and he's there, looking coldly at me. "He is not. I can see him clearly alive nearly every night." I try not to look at her, but I can't help clenching my fists.

She starts stroking my hands "Did you ever go back to the fort?" She asks suddenly.

I remember I did think about it, but somehow, I feel I've always been too scared of what it could do to me. I just answer "No. I didn't."

"Look, why don't you go back, and get rid of Marcus for good?" She asks.

"I don't know. I never thought it could help." My stomach clenches at the very idea.

"But that's what you did for the bureau."

"It was different. I was just curious. And we can't go there at the moment, with the cold and snow."

"No, it's better this way. No one would go there at the moment for a walk, and if you break a thing or two, no one will hear. If you want to go, I'll come with you. I know it will be hard to be back. I'll help you. I really think that if you could see it empty and crumbled... Then maybe the bad memories and your fears would stop."

This girl keeps stunning me. It's worth the try, even if I feel that what he did to me will never stop. I take a deep breath and say "OK I'll go. I will need a little time to get used to the idea, but I'll go, with you."

She smiles at me and starts kissing me. I stop thinking about anything except this blissful feeling. I want this moment to last forever.


	24. 24 Natalie: The person you really are

**A/N After reading the last review from velosewer, I think I should warn anyone who is reading this story –if it's not obvious already- that I don't intend it to be a bed of roses type of story. I decided it won't end up well for everybody. I really believe that Veronica Roth's choice about Tris in Allegiant was interesting. I just was disappointed about the way it was justified by the story. I totally respect her work, and I don't pretend I'm a better writer (I'm sure I am not) but I'd like to write something more "real". What I mean is that none of us is really free from what he is and does. Your actions always have consequences for others. I suppose most of you over 25, already know that life is not a party or a fairytale. That's what I try to render in my story, with a glimpse of hope though. **

**Monday January 27th **

**Natalie POV**

I check my t-shirt and my hair before leaving. I don't want to wear the hospital shirts every day, but I couldn't bring too many clothes. I think I don't quite look ill when I'm dressed normally.

I find the room easily because it's just 3 doors ahead of mine. I knock at his door and I think I hear a faint sound, so I open the door carefully and say "Hi! Can I come in?" I hear a distant voice asking "Who is it?"

"It's Natalie. The CML you remember?"

"Come in." says the small voice again that doesn't sound like Simon's. I step carefully into the room.

It's only 5PM but the curtains are half closed. I look around in the dim light and I notice his bedroom is twice bigger than mine. One half really looks the same, with the hospital bed and accessories, but the other part rather looks like a normal teenager's bedroom. I notice a poster of this music band that Adam likes so much, and many different pictures of some beautiful place with pink and golden rocks tunnels. I don't know where it is but it looks like a desert or something. There is a small desk with a computer and a radio. I also notice a very big TV screen on the shelf that must be his, most of us don't have one. I remember that he has been here for months so I suppose he sort of installed here.

Simon looks rather pale and I see as he tries, that he cannot sit on his bed. I suddenly feel really stupid to have come uninvited. I should have kept my hospital shirt after all. I say clumsily "No, don't sit if you're tired. I'm sorry to have come like that. I will come back later if you feel bad." I start stepping back towards the door but he turns to me and says "No, it's okay. It's nice to see someone else than a nurse. If you don't care about seeing me like that, I'd like you to stay. Don't worry, I believe I stopped throwing up an hour ago." He tries a poor smile.

I can't help wondering how I will cope with that when it's my turn and I shiver. I smile back at him and say "No problem. I can hold a basin if you need it." And I sit down in the chair next to the bed.

I'm not sure if I should hold his hand, so I don't. Instead I go for a small talk. I ask "Don't your parents ever come and visit you?"

"Not very often." He says coldly "Anyway they could not come every time I have a chemo. They're not that far, but I'm afraid I'm a burden for them." I notice that I can see no pictures of his family.

"I can't help saying that's not fair to leave you alone her struggling with all this!"

"I got used to it. I suppose they have a lot of more important thing to do. That's why I like when other people come and talk with me. Unfortunately only three of us are over 12 in here. I can only talk with Harvey and you really."

I'm wondering… "What do your parents do for a living?"

"They are contractors. To be exact, my Dad is. My mother is a civil engineer. They have had a lot of work to rebuild the city after the war, and they still have. I know that someone has to do it, and they help people find a proper home and everything, but I wish they would come and see me more often. They say they don't have much time left though."

"Don't you believe them?"

"They pay a lot for me to be nursed in the hospital, because no one is home. Or maybe, they pay to avoid staying home with me. They keep saying it's the best for me and I will heal better like that, but I know it's not true. The truth is that somehow they would feel guilty to leave me on my own at home day and night. I can read about all the parties they attend with my brother in the newspapers you see..."

I'm suddenly curious "Your brother is working with them?"

"Yes. He is 26, handsome and fit. He is the only one who cares about me though. Sometimes, I believe my parents wish they only had one child."

I understand. "Maybe it's not that bad, they probably love you at some point. I can't believe they don't. I know what you're talking about though. I felt that once...when my parents finally told us my brother and I were "an accident."

"And what happened?"

"Adam and I were very angry with them, because of the lies, but I decided they really love us anyway. Or so I think."

"Is it over now?" he asks

"I suppose so, but I didn't forgive them for lying. I thought it felt like they didn't trust us. They have proved they love us though, even if it has been hard more than once." I don't want to tell more about it, so I really need to change the subject before this gets too personal, so I ask "What's your real name by the way?"

He turns a little more on his side to look at me "Simon Miller." He says, and to my surprise he goes "Tell me about your parents."

I hesitate "There's not much to say really..." I'm not sure how much I can tell about my family. He goes on "I did some research about you, and one of the nurses say you dad's the mayor. Is that true?"

I wonder why he searched about me, but decide quickly to trust him, so I answer "Yes he is."

He suddenly seems to regain energy and says "So your Mom and Dad fought the war. That's great! They are heroes! You should be proud."

Curiously, I feel quite uncomfortable with the idea that my parents seem so cool to him. I snap "My parents are still liars."

I'm about to change the subject again, but I notice that he suddenly winces, and I can see he is in deep pain. I ask a little panicked "Do you want me to call for help?" He shakes his head no. I really want to help and I don't know how...so I do what I remember Mom did, when I was ill or afraid. I take his hand in one of mine, stroke his head with the other and start singing lullabies until he falls asleep.

xxx

The sound of the food trolley wakes me up. I'm worried he's been disturbed too, but I notice that Simon still look deep asleep, holding my hand. His breathing seems quiet now. I suppose that the treatment and pain have exhausted him. I know I'd better hurry up back to my bedroom because, even if curfew is not before one hour and a half, I'm not sure I'm allowed to be here so late. I delicately separate our tangled fingers with my free hand, without waking him up and tiptoe to the door. I nearly bump into the nurse that's holding the dinner tray. I mutter to her that Simons is asleep before leaving.


	25. 25 Tris: The person you really are

**Monday January 27th **

**Tris POV**

I'm exhausted but I absolutely have to finish my orders tonight. With the food shortage we endure this winter, I need to be first in the order line, if I want to get fruits and vegetables next month. I don't care about that for myself, but I do for the kids of the home and school. I hope that Tobias will be able to sort this out soon with his staff. If I've got some time left, I will make research about the files I need. The ones Adam found until now are incomplete. I suppose Tobias won't notice. He is still angry and so am I, so none of us really speaks to each other, except when kids are around. I believe that Adam exactly knows what's going on though. I sometimes feel bad about it, but I don't know how to stop this anymore. Maybe I'm too stubborn.

I'm saving the last order form when the door suddenly opens, taking me out of my task. I immediately think it's probably Theo who had a bad dream, but when I look up, Tobias shapes up in the doorframe. I instinctively look at the door behind him, trying to know how to get out of the trap, but deep inside, I know I have no chance against him.

He says calmly "Don't even think about leaving Tris. We need to talk and you know it, so you're not going anywhere before we are finished with it." I find back this Four commanding tone he used when he was our instructor in dauntless. I don't even try a reply. Frankly, I want to let him go first, because I feel so uncomfortable, and maybe I was waiting for this moment as well as escaping it.

He goes on "Let's make it simple. All I want from you now, is the answer to these 2 simple questions 1-Why don't you trust the doctors with Natalie's transplant? and 2-What are you trying to do without telling me?…" I open my mouth to deny but he cuts "And don't deny about your secret project, I saw you working on it at night."

I'm weighing things, but I suppose this can't last longer so I take a deep breath and go "OK sit down. I don't trust the doctors with the transplant, because I don't trust doctors at all." I pause "I suppose I must explain to you why." I look down at my desk because I don't want to cry and start "I never really told you how it had been after I got shot by David. When I came back, you saw me standing and walking, but before that it has been hell. 12 months of hell. I experienced pain as never before, because when you're fighting, you know you can end it if you win. With that sort of pain, you never know if it's going to end. And all the doctors kept promising it would go better, that this new treatment would make wonders…"

I clench my fists. "And you have to stay silent, go into surgery time after time, and you still can't feed your baby or hold her in your arms. They promised I would run long before her, but they lied. I could barely walk when she did her first step. She ran long before me too. I have spent days, weeks and months, listening to their promises that I would heal the next week, but I was always disappointed. Hope is a poison that they give you much too often. In the end, I was a little grateful they had allowed me to find you back in sort of an acceptable state, but then when we discovered they had stolen Adam. That's why I can't trust them anymore. Now, I can't help thinking how Adam would feel if he does the transplant and it doesn't work, or if there are complications and she gets worse. I'm scared and I can't help it."

I stop here because this confession drained all my strength. I suppose I also secretly hope he won't ask the second question again.

He gets up from the chair and passes the desk. He turns my chair so I can face him, and crouches next to me. He says very gently this time "I didn't know, you never told me."

"I wanted to forget, I tried to move on."

"It's over now and things have changed. You helped things change."

"But I'm still afraid."

"Then why don't you trust me to help you with whatever you're doing?"

I suppose I'd better tell him before he catches Adam messing around with his passwords or computer, so I say quickly "I'm trying to find another donor in the Fort Sheridan files, and I asked Adam to help me. It's illegal so I didn't want you to be involved, just in case."

To my surprise, he just lifts his eyes at me and hugs me saying "Oh Tris." I realize I've been missing him badly and I let go.

He gets back a little, and I can see a sad gaze in his eyes. He cups my face in his hands and says softly "Tris, you have to stop torturing yourself. I believe things can change. You did believe it when you chose dauntless years ago. What is so different now?"

I feel lost. All I can answer is "I don't know. I feel like something bad is always about to come, and I get crazy in trying to avoid it."

"I just thought that maybe WE are the problem.

"What do you mean?"

"I think that the world around us has changed, but we didn't. We grew up yes, but I'm still a severe dauntless instructor who can't talk with his own son, and you're still looking for a cause to defend with your very life, trusting no one but yourself. And that's what we taught to our kids."

The truth of this suddenly strikes me, and I know he's right. I don't even trust him anymore. What happened to us? What happened to me? I feel terribly ashamed of myself and my eyes well up with tears. I ask "Do you think we can change it?"

He gets his balance back and responds "I think we can try, but I will tell you in the living room because I'll get a cramp if I stay like this a few minutes more."

It makes me smile a little and I agree. I turn off the computer, while he leaves to the living room. I can hear he's preparing drinks. Good idea.

Once we are both comfortably settled on the couch with a glass of wine -that means I'm cuddled in his arms for the first time in weeks- he says "I believe that first, each of us must work on his worst default: I have to communicate and give you time, and you have to trust me and others too. I suggest that tomorrow, each of us make a list of 5 ways to achieve the other's goal and then we will have to add 2 more ideas of our own. We will try to stick to it, and a have a weekly progress review."

"Wow, that sounds like training to me."

"I suppose it is. Got the method from Amar. I think the original plan says you have to practice one thing out of the seven each day."

I look at him and I'm stuck again by his beauty. I really feel bad for all I've put him through in the few months. "What is the reward for substantial achievement?" I ask with a malicious smile.

"Any ideas?" He responds, sneaking his hands under my shirt. When I feel his hands on my body I realize painfully how much I've been missing him. His soft skin, the muscles in his arms, his kisses on my neck... My whole body tells me we are one, no matter what my head says. Maybe I have to trust myself first. When our shirts fall on the floor, I lift up my head to check if the doors to the bedroom's corridor are closed, before I lose control.

I can feel the salty taste of our tears when I murmur in a kiss "I'm sorry". "I know." he answers when kissing me back.


	26. 26 Adam: Bad day

**Saturday February 1st **

**Adam POV**

I got up early and picked up Alice at 7AM.

We decided to get an early train to Fort Sheridan, just in case we would be delayed. Our parents think we are going early to take pictures in the old town for schoolwork. I checked the timetable and I know we should get there at 8:15 if the train's on time.

After a few minutes, we manage to get into the train. It's quite empty and I notice that most of the people get off in the first stops. I suppose those are early workers. When we reach the suburbs, I start feeling anxious, and each station makes my stomach clench a little more. I try to concentrate on the odd landscape: there are refurbished areas alternating with totally ruined ones. The line of view keeps changing every 10 seconds.

Alice must have noticed because she doesn't try to talk to me, takes my hand and squeezes. After a while she says "Don't be so stressed, it's just an empty place OK?"

"Sorry. I can't help it. I'm not sure I can fight what's in there."

"I'll be with you, just remember this is history. I think we should get ready it's our next stop."

I need to hold Alice's hand all the way to Fort Sheridan to avoid turning heels, but after a short walk through the park, it's here. The alleys are pretty packed with snow but someone made a small clear path between the main buildings. Somehow I feel uncomfortable about it, just as if someone was here somewhere, waiting for me to come back. I squeeze Alice's hand harder.

I don't really recognize the buildings on Leonard Wood Avenue so much, because I hardly went out of my training building for five years.

And there it is. The crumbled water tower is there in front of me. This time it feels much too familiar. The barracks as they called it. A prison to me.

"See? It's empty" tries Alice hopefully.

I can't talk, I'm like petrified, while some of my worst memories come back to me, as I look at the windows and doors.

"Do you want to get in? It's probably not closed." says Alice in a forced lively tone. I'm not sure we can pretend this is a lover's leisure walk anyway.

I carefully approach the door. It does not seem worn or broken as I would have thought. It's worse; it makes me feel like I'm back in time. I approach the doorknob as if the thing would bite me. To my surprise it's locked.

Alice notices the flash of fear on my face "They probably still use the place for storage…" she suggests "That's why…"

I snap "I have to know. Watch out for anyone coming this way." I kneel on the doorstep and rummage in my backpack, in order to find what I hid in it earlier this morning. I suppose Dad wouldn't like to know where I got this (stole it from one of my worst schoolmates who broke into the student's lockers). The little tweezers allow me to open the door quite easily after a few minutes of torturing the lock.

We enter carefully and close back behind us. Even if it's still unlocked, it looks like closed.

I stop her before she gets to the button "Don't turn the lights on. We must be careful. And speak low."

I'm surprised that I don't feel anything when I look at the empty training rooms where Marcus made me fight for hours. The empty library and the infirmary don't wake anything in me either. I start thinking Alice was right. I have been tortured by a ghost. Marcus is dead and this compound is over. I suppose we've been wandering around for half an hour, when we come across the cells corridor. I don't reckon I was heading this way though. This time, I make a stop in front of number B105, I feel uncomfortable. The door is ajar, so I can't help peering inside.

Alice pushes it slowly and I can see that the room is totally empty. As she gets in, I feel obliged to follow her inside. The heavy weight that was on my shoulders since we got in suddenly seems to lift.

"See; it's really gone. Most of what we have seen so far is empty. That's a sign that whatever they were trying to do, it's over now. You have to move on now."

I feel a sort of relief in this: if they took all away from this place, I suppose that's because it's really over. I suddenly remember that Mom told me she had all the books from their library given to the city's one. I suppose Matthew took most of the scientific books and notes for his work on the vaccine.

I'm torn between relief and some kind of oppression feeling, so I don't speak much on our way back. She seems to understand – that's what I appreciate in her- and keep silent too. Maybe it's because the noises outside are muffled by the snow that I hear it. It's like a distant buzzing. I suppose it must be an electric generator or something. I'm surprised that I didn't hear it when we entered the building. Maybe I was too stressed. This time, my curiosity takes over my fears and I turn back to follow the sound.

"Where are you going?" asks Alice.

"I heard something, I'll check. You can wait here."

"No way! Wherever you go I go."

I nod and take her hand again. After about 50 meters in the main corridor, I hear the buzzing coming louder from a smaller corridor on my left. The second door we come across is definitely brand new, and now I'm front of it I can tell what the noise is: computers. I take a quick look at the pin pad and I know I can handle it. I plug my phone on it and the little program I designed starts running. After 20 seconds a click sounds and the door opens a little. When we step in, we both stay mouth open at the view before us: in the same big room, we can see a server farm, and on the other side a pretty big lab. The whole thing seems new and perfectly working. I notice there are freshly sterilized Petri dishes in bags, on the lab bench. I shiver. What the hell is this? The Bureau?

I have only entered the room a few steps, when the whirling alarm stops my heartbeat. I grab Alice's hand, push the door back and we run out like mad towards the main hall. When we reach the last corridor I see the door opening. I step back and we both flatten against the wall before the corner. I can hear that they walk carefully like policemen; I have 2 seconds to find a hiding place. I spot what looks like a service or storage room on our left. It's our only chance. Luckily the door opens because it is nearly empty. We get in and I grab my tools to lock the door from inside. I hope they won't hear the small click because of their own noises.

I can hear part of their conversation: "You; come with me, the alarm is in the lab, they can't escape. Keep checking the corridor Ted" We hear running footsteps passing us.

I can hear them trying to open all doors on the way back from the new lab. I hope they won't open this cabinet. When the guy tries our door we hold our breath, and stick to the back wall of the tiny room. The steps move on to the next door but we don't release our attention until we hear them going back to the entrance door. We breathe again and refrain from trembling.

One voice says "It must be a malfunction, there's no trace of someone being in the lab. And no one in the corridors." The voice that seems to be the leader answers "No. The main door was unlocked. They're gone but I think someone was here. It may just be a thief or a squatter if the door was left opened yesterday. We have to report to the boss anyway. Maybe they left fingerprints or traces in the snow or something."

I shiver. If they find out it was Alice and me, Dad is sure going to kill me if they don't.

We wait half an hour after they're gone to leave our hiding, to be sure they're not waiting outside. I check from different windows before opening the front door again. We walk back slowly and I decide to wait another half hour in a café before taking the train back home, just in case those guys would be patrolling in the station. While we're drinking, Alice tries to talk about what just happened, but I stop her immediately with a squeeze on her hand. "Let's not speak here. Wait till we get home. Next, we should make a stop to buy new hats and scarves in the general store, just in case."

As soon as we get off the train I turn my phone back on and it vibrates immediately. It's message from Mom so I know I'd better check now, or she's the one who will call the police. When I hear her voice, I can tell she's panicked "Adam, please, would you know where Natalie's gone? She apparently left hospital with her friend during the night, or early this morning. If you know something, please call me back immediately."


	27. 27 Natalie: Bad day

**A/N: please note that we are one day back from the previous chapter. Please forgive any mistakes about treatments or symptoms or hospital rules in what follows.**

**Friday January 31st 9PM**

**Natalie POV**

Had my first chemo today.

Mom and Dad were great. Mom stayed with me all day and Dad popped in after lunch, between two meetings. Mom left before dinner, because she had to take back Theo at Zeke and Shauna's. It's been the worst day of my life though.

Simon's head peers through the door. I feel grateful. "Hi, Nat! Can I come in?"

I manage to moan yes, even if I don't feel so well. I think he might distract me from what I am enduring since that thing started running in my veins. I haven't seen him since yesterday and I must admit that I'm glad to see him because I like talking with him. I notice he doesn't have a perfusion behind him.

"Hey! You broke curfew just to come and see me?"

"Nope. I'm over 16 so curfew is 10PM for me. I have one extra hour over you. Technically, none of us can be blamed. I decided I should come over to see how you handle your first chemotherapy. Wow, you don't look good. Is it bad?"

I nod.

"I came to help. Tell me."

"It's been hell. I could not stop throwing up four hours. I thought I'd sleep next to the toilet seat. Is it always like that?"

"Depends if they keep your doses steady. You get a little used to it, and you body starts adapting, but then, they increase your dose and it's all back again."

That sounds like torture to me. I'm sure I won't make it. I moan "I'll never make it. I'll die!"

"No you won't. I will give you tricks to cope better with it."

My stomach is suddenly hurting again so I writhe in pain on my bed. He says "If it's really too painful they can give you painkillers, but never the first time. Take my hand and crush it when it hurts if you need too." I'm grateful and I do.

After a few minutes, the wave of pain starts to disappear. I manage to say "Thank you." When it's gone completely, I relax and ask "Why are you helping me?"

"Told you I'm the dean here, it's my duty to help the newcomers feel better."

"Do you let everyone crush your hand?" I ask, looking at the red mark I left on his.

"No. That's just for you."

"Why?"

"Dunno. I like you. If pain is gone you really should try to sleep now. I'll leave you my hand… just in case it comes back. But I can't sing." He adds with a smile.

"But… the curfew, you'll be late."

"Don't worry. I can handle this." I'm exhausted, and I want him to stay, so I let go and close my eyes. While I slowly drown into sleep, I believe I hear him saying "and I thought I'd better fall in love with you while you still had hair." But I can't respond.

xxx

I just woke up and I know something's wrong. I feel it's cold and dark and damp. I'm shivering. I know Simon is still here, because I can see him partly when I turn my head, but we're not in the hospital anymore, and I realize I'm tied to a very hard bed.

**A/N: I need a little time to write the next chapters so it will leave time for you to review ;-).**


	28. 28 Adam: What are you hiding?

**Saturday February 1st **

**Adam POV**

I'm stunned by the news. I tell Alice about the message and we hurry up to get back home. I immediately call Mom. "Hi Mom. Just got your message, my cellphone was off. I know nothing about her plans: I didn't talk to Natalie since Wednesday and I have no message from her. I'm on my way to come back home so I'll try to send her a message OK?"

I quickly message Nat with "Parents mad. Where are U? Need help?" I add oh code to it, just in case.

"Do you think it could be The Bureau?" asks Alice.

"Don't know, maybe there was another good reason for her to leave. I have to check before jumping to some other conclusion, but to be honest, I can't see why she would have left, just days before the transplant."

I'm trying to think if I can find anything that could explain her disappearance except from The Bureau wanting her. I know she had a crush on this guy Simon, but I don't see where she would go with him.

I suddenly remember she had chemo yesterday. She probably wasn't fit to go anywhere. This makes me believe that she left against her will. The guy probably followed them, or maybe he had no choice either.

I leave Alice at her door. "You call me later OK?" She says. "You have to tell them what you found out in The Bureau, but please, don't do anything stupid on your own."

I nod and kiss her by the door, and I feel a wave of sadness when she closes the door.

When I get home, the living room is frantic.

Dad is yelling on the phone, probably talking with the hospital because I can hear things like "vigilance" and "security rules".

Mom is talking to someone else with her cell phone. I can see she is mad but tries to hide it. I can hear "Fine then, the first of us who gets any sign of them calls the other day or night. You've got all our numbers. The police say we should not worry too much till tonight. Maybe they're just unable to call us. Thank you for your help anyway. Let me know if your friend can locate their cell phones though. Good bye Sarah." She hangs up.

She turns back to me and says with an angry tone "Adam, here you are. Can't you answer when I call you?"

"Hey! I forgot to turn it on again OK? I couldn't know something would happen just today. I know you're freaked out but it's not my fault."

"I'm sorry." She says. "I'm just so worried about her. Why doesn't she call us or something? Simon's parents don't have any clue about what happened." I suppose that Simon's mom was the person she was talking to.

I'm decided to tell them what I found out in the files from the Bureau, but Dad is still talking on the phone. I come closer to Mom and say "I think I know something that could explain why she's gone. Just wait till Dad is over with his phone call and I'll explain. I need to get something first OK?"

She looks frightened but she nods silently.

I go to my room and grab my computer. When I'm back to the living room I sit down in the armchair. Dad hanged up the phone and Mom says "Sit down Tobias, Adam says he knows something about Natalie."

I take a deep breath and I start –I secretly hope that none of them will kill me afterwards. "OK, don't be mad at me for not telling you earlier. I couldn't imagine… When I broke into the Bureau, I did not get stuck in the corridor. I got in and I broke into their main lab. That is where I got trapped. Sorry Dad, I lied to you, because I knew if you'd take it, Mom would too."

Dad starts "But…" but Mom shows him to let me go on. I do.

"In this lab, I found computers that were not linked to the external network, and had a higher security level. I cracked one, and some of the files had our name and I found pictures of us all. So…I copied the whole thing."

"You what?" Bursts Mom.

"I copied the files on my computer. When I managed to read them, I understood they had been watching us all for years, and a few notes referred to needing Natalie and me for some genetic experiments. I didn't see anything like it, but I think it is possible that the people who work there have Natalie."

Mom puts her hand and her mouth to stop a cry.

I suppose I never saw that expression on Dad's face before. "And how long have you known this?"

"Just before Christmas. Natalie and I decided not to tell you yet."

Mom cuts "You told her about it?"

"Yes, and Alice knows too."

Mom seems to suddenly recover from shock and asks "Do you have names, places phone number or anything in those files?"

"A few names occur but they're incomplete or initials. I found nothing that could help identifying who's doing it, but maybe you will. All is here:" I give dad the computer with the decrypted files. "I hope you will get a clue."

"Go to your bedroom" says Dad we'll think about your behavior later.

I lift up my head and say. "No. I want to help, and there's something else I know." It's now or never to reveal all the lies.

"This morning we went to Fort Sheridan with Alice." I go on before they cut "She thought that seeing the empty place could help me to... sort of turn this page… I opened the front door, and we found out a brand new lab and computers in there. I don't know anything else because the alarm broke out and we left. I'm sorry I lied to you, please let me help and I will accept any sanction when she's back."

Mom says nothing and just looks at Dad.

"OK you can help" he says "but how could you lie to us like this?"

I look at them both and say "You started it."

"OK." He says. "How long are you going to blame us for this? Did it occur to you that we might have good reasons to hide the truth to you? It's not a match where we're counting points. We are family. I assume you had your reasons to hide from us what you found in the Bureau; one of them being to avoid punishment."

I stay silent.

"We didn't tell you the truth about your birth and the war yes, but it's not because you were too young or because we didn't trust you. I suppose it's rather because we didn't think that what happened changed what we are as a family. Now I suggest that we stop counting points and hurting each other, because Natalie may not have much time if she's been kidnapped. We have to read those files again and stop lying to each other. Is everyone OK with that?"

I nod. To my surprise he also looks at Mom, waiting for her agreement.

"I'm already working you guys, printing some files… and I stopped counting points last week, when I told you about my plan." she says while heading to her office with a memory stick.

**A/N: I hope you're still sticking to this story. Action is coming in the next chapters. If I get I lot of reviews, I will try to update faster ;-)**


	29. 29 Natalie: Trapped

**Saturday February 1st **

**Natalie POV**

I try to look around, but it's pretty dark because the room is only lit by some kind of emergency light. All the room is painted grey and there is no window at all. I can see a table and 2 chairs in the centre or the room. As my eyes get used to the dark, I can now see that Simon also seems to be tied to his bed, next to the opposite wall. From what I see, he is still wearing the clothes he had on yesterday evening. I hope he is just sleeping. I suddenly stare desperately to see if he is moving at all, but I don't. So I stay perfectly still and silent for a few minutes, until I can hear his breathing. Once I am relieved about that, I try to find a clue, but I see nothing that could help me know where we are, or why.

Suddenly, I hear muffled voices outside the door.

I decide to make a move. I try to shout "Is there someone out here?" the doors does not open.

"Hey! You outside! Can we get a blanket please? It's freezing!"

The door opens slightly.

I can't see who's talking because he is in the dark but a deep voice says "You let them both like this all night?"

"Eh… we didn't plan they would be two of them." answers a younger voice. It must be the guard at our door.

"We can't afford them to get ill, so feed them properly and give the girl blankets and clothes. I understand you got their clothes?"

"Yes we did, as well as their cell phones and toiletries. It makes it more plausible they flew away together."

"Fine. Then no more mistake, the boss wants them fine and fit this afternoon. You will refer to Amanda from now on."

The door closes back. I notice that the closing bang woke Simon up. I turn my head to him as much a I can and ask "Simon, are you OK?" I can see he's trying to move. "Don't try to get out of your bonds, they're tight. How do you feel?"

"My head is painful… but I think nothing is broken. Are you all right?"

"I think so. I'm just cold and hungry. I tried to ask for blankets and food, but I don't reckon the service it's very efficient."

I ask "What happened? I fell asleep and I don't remember anything after that. Do you?"

"I don't remember anything either. I suppose we were sedated. I understand we're prisoners but I'd like to know why."

I start thinking that nothing is going to happen when the door opens up again. This time, a handsome woman, comes in and turns the light on. She is holding a tray with fruits, water, cheese and bread from what I can see. I realize that I feel terribly hungry; I suddenly wonder what time it is. I hear a click in the door, indicating that they locked the 3 of us inside.

Now I can see better, I notice she is rather dressed like a secretary, than a soldier or a scientist. The woman says "If you both keep quiet, I will untie you and you'll be able to get dressed. Do you agree?"

I nod and Simon too. I'm dying to ask her what we are doing here, but I feel it's not the time.

The woman leaves the tray on a table in the center, and grabs 2 plastic bags that were out of my sight on the floor. She opens one of them and drops it next to my bed, and the second one next to Simon's.

"OK kids. Your clothes and toiletries are in the bag, bathroom behind you." She says roughly "Now I'm going to untie you both and leave. You eat and get dressed and I'll be back in one hour. If you try anything stupid you'll be tied again, and we will lock you in separate cells." She releases the buckles from the leather bonds around my wrists, ankles and shoulders. All my limbs feel sore, and I have difficulty to sit up while she is freeing Simon. I can't help wondering if there's a reason why they locked us up together at first.

After she's gone, I try to get out of the bed, but I stumble. Simon tries to come to my aid, but he nearly faints when he tries to get up. "Sorry. I'm not good at anything either. I suppose we still feel the effects of the sedative or whatever they gave us."

I smile "I suppose we should use the chairs then." I decide to begin with eating, because I feel really weak. I manage to reach one chair clumsily. My watch says 11:35AM. I start eating a piece of cheese with bread, and Simon picks up one for himself.

When we are both seated, Simon asks "Do you think they are listening to us?"

"I don't think so: this room doesn't seem to even have a camera. Anyway, it's not like we have secrets."

He smiles "What do you think they want from us?"

I believe my brain starts working again, and I can't help thinking about what Adam told us at Christmas. I carefully say "They don't necessarily want something from both of us…"

Simon shakes his head no "I can't see what they could ever want from me. Maybe my parents could pay a ransom to get me back, but I'm sure my brother's worth more than me. Do you think they want to obtain something from your Dad?"

I answer "I don't know. I suppose they will tell us at some point." Thinking back to what Adam discovered about the Bureau's projects, I really hope I am wrong. I start eating an apple to avoid another question on this point.

"How do you feel from your chemo?" he suddenly says with concern.

"My stomach stopped hurting, but I still feel very weak. It's OK." I say.

"That's good. It means your body is overcoming the side effects. Do you think they have taken our treatments for leukemia too? If not, I suppose that they don't plan to keep us too long."

Now I have eaten a little, I feel strong enough to get dressed. While I kneel to look for my clothes, I feel uncomfortable, because I'm suddenly aware that the hospital shirt I'm wearing covers just a very small part of my body, especially at the back where I feel my naked back in the cold air. I ask him without turning my head (I blushed red) "Do you mind if I go first?"

He says "No, of course not. I'm already dressed, you must be cold. Go ahead." To my relief, I notice when I stand back up, that Simon feigns to be looking into his own bag to avoid embarrassing me.

The bathroom is minimal: there's a shower, and a sink but no mirror. I find two towels hanging to the door and soap. I decide to have a shower to warm up, and feel better if possible.

The water is lukewarm, but I feel much better after the shower. I'm grateful they got my underwear and jumpers in the bag. While I get dressed, I start wondering why they took Simon, if that is me they want.

The woman comes back and gets the tray back as she said, while Simon is in the bathroom. This time I take the chance to ask her "Where are we? Why are we here?" but she does not answer and gets out.

xxx

It's around 1PM when the door opens again. This time it's a man with a white lab coat, probably a doctor. He is accompanied by an armed guard. He asks Simon to follow him to the infirmary for a checkup. I suppose it's time we meet the boss fine and fit.

They're not back yet, when the woman comes back to get me without a word. We walk through a very dark corridor. It is a very odd place, with no window at all and everything seems to be metallic. I suddenly realize we must be in an underground bunker or in a boat maybe but it does not move.

She lets me in a small room that has a screen in the middle, like in a parlor. I guess someone is sitting on the other side but I can't see their shape.

A voice says "Sit down." I do. "Sorry about the lack of comfort of your cell, we had to move you earlier than I thought. I couldn't wait after your transplant." How does this guy –I'm sure it's a man- know about that?

I prefer not to speak if I can avoid it, until I know why I'm here. I wait for what's coming next, hoping it is not death.


	30. 30 Natalie: Who, why and where

**A/N: Sorry guys for the long wait. Those chapters are really tricky ones if I want the story to go where I want. I will update ASAP. Thank you for your patience and support.**

**Natalie POV**

The man behind the screen goes on with a lively tone, like we're chatting at tea time. "I suppose you'd like to know who I am. I'm David's brother, but no one knew when he was alive. My name is not important, so call me Lincoln. Dave believed he was the only genius in our family, and he didn't want me to use our name in my work. I did. I chose Lincoln because my dream is to change our country some day, just like Abe did. I was David's main assistant for 3 years, so I was very concerned about his work. And then your mother erased his memory, she destroyed David's genius and our mother soon died from it. I was desperate. After that, I tried to cure him for 3 years, but the serum was too strong and I was only 25. I thought Tris Prior was dead you know, so I had decided to start anew. That's when I heard the family name Eaton again. They wrote about your dad when he was chosen as mayor, so I started making research to find out who his nice family was...What a surprise it was, to discover that, not only Tris Prior was not dead, but the happy couple had twins! That traitor of Marcus, never told us about you both. From this day on, I have been working on both, my achievement in genetics and my revenge. And that's why you're here. You're the very key to what I'm trying to do. The time has come. You're old enough to give me what I need. Soon your brother will join us and then...Trust me to destroy your family like you did to mine."

I suddenly feel I might not leave this place alive. He seems to have read my mind.

"Oh no, I'm not a killer. Your mother will just have to nurse you for the rest of your life, but if you don't cooperate, your boyfriend too, will suffer the consequences. You see, I took the opportunity to test on him, a new treatment I've been working on. He's just had the first injection a few minutes ago. If he doesn't get the 2 others within one month, he will get worse and die. So be a good girl and I will carry on with him. If not, I let him die. Is that clear?"

I nod. Now I am certain this man takes pleasure in torturing me. And I know why, though I don't know yet, how he will do it.

He goes on "That's enough for today; I just wanted to introduce myself. We are moving the lab tonight, and I have much to do. Don't worry, I will send a word to your parents. See you soon. My assistant will take you back."

On the way back, I try to guess what he is going to do. Maybe, if he wants Adam, he will try to exchange him with Simon? I shiver to the idea. When I get back to the cell, I notice that Simon is back. I can just sit on my bed before bursting into tears. He immediately comes around and hugs me. "Hey, it's OK. It can't be that bad. What have they done to you? Tell me what happened and then we will try to get out of here." I can't help sobbing more and more on his chest. How could I tell him that they use him as an incentive to make me do whatever they want, and that I now hold his life in my hands.

After a few minutes, I manage to calm down. I try to leave his embrace because I feel uncomfortable not telling him the truth.

He does not let go, but lifts my face up and says calmly "Natalie, we're trapped here together, and we need to get out. We have no choice but to trust each other for that. You can tell me anything. And I need to know what's happening. Please."

I look back at him, and I'm still hesitating, when he starts kissing me. My first move is to pull back from surprise but some invisible bond breaks up in me, and I try to respond clumsily to his kiss.

He suddenly pulls back. I think I've done something wrong, but embarrassment shows on his face too. "I'm sorry" he says. "I shouldn't have done that. You're too young."

This time I look at him defiantly "You want to know something about my age? This man is holding us both because he wants to use me and Adam for some twisted genetics experiments. If I don't cooperate, he intends to kill you" _I refrain from saying he already started it._ "He won't kill me because he needs me alive, but I believe he intends to torture me. How old do you think I should be for all this?"

"Hey. I'm sorry. I couldn't imagine... I just meant I didn't want to push you into something, because I'm so much older than you. I suppose it doesn't matter that much in fact. Why don't you tell me everything?"

I open my mouth to protest but he cuts "Don't deny. I know you're hiding something. Don't you trust me?"

I shake my head no "Don't ask me this, it's too hard."

He cups my head in his hands and says calmly "If I must die, I want to fight. If I am to fight, I must know what I'm fighting against, and I must know why. It's not different from leukemia Natalie."

I'm on the edge of tears now "You don't understand." I wish that Adam was here. He's always been the one who knew what to do in the tough situations. I shiver. What would happen if he was actually here? Something just came back to my mind that I had not thought about for years. I remember that strange connection we had a few times at night, when Adam was kept in Fort Sheridan. I realize I'm crying now.

Simon insists "Tell me and I will. Then we'll work out a plan to get out of here before any of us is dead, OK?" I nod and he adds "But first, we have to make sure there is no camera and no microphone in here."

We both get up and start looking carefully at every inch of wall, moving every piece of furniture and rummaging in the towels. Simon insists on checking the ceiling too.

In a way I feel relieved but I know this might be our chance.

And I suddenly know that we have to get out of here and quick, because if not, I know Adam will come to get me back. And I don't want him to be trapped and hurt again. I sit down on the bed again, facing Simon and start: "I suppose it all started when my mother tried to end the war years ago..."

After I told what happened to us until late week, I decide to tell him all I know. I repeat everything that Lincoln told me as accurately as I can. I hesitate again before telling him about the treatment he was given, but finally I feel he has the right to know. If I die, he might be able to find the treatment on his own and live.

When I finish telling the story, I feel exhausted. I realise that he kept silent all long and I am suddenly afraid. I start "Maybe it was not a good idea to tell you all this. But you asked for it."

"No." He says slowly. "You were right to tell me, it's just that I couldn't imagine how hard it must have been for you to hide all this for years. I am really proud that you trust me with your family secrets."

"Given that you're as much in danger than me, I suppose you deserve it. Now what do you think we should do?"

He stays silent for a few seconds and says "You said they're not completely ready. It means we have a little time to think about a way out, while they can't spy on us. I think we should try to find out where we are, and if we can find windows somewhere. I suggest we draw a map of what we see, any time we get out of here. I found a little paper left in my back pocket. It's plain on one side and I usually have a small pencil in my jacket. Did you see anything interesting on your way?" He gets up to check that the pencil is still here then sits back.

I close my eyes "I reckon all the walls are metal. I also remember oval shaped doors. I would say we're in a bunker or rather a war ship."

"I won't like the ship option. I can't swim." He says with a wince.

I can't hide my stupefaction. "No one ever took time to teach me OK!" he says quite angrily.

"Hey! I don't blame you. It is sad no one did it. Then if we need to swim, you'll need a life vest that's all. I won't let you drown."

"Thanks." He says with a quiet tone this time. "Let's start the map with what we have seen today. We will have to remember counting steps every time we get out of here from now on."

After nearly half an hour, we have drawn a small scheme of the corridors we've been through. Simon went to a different level, two levels under the one where we are held prisoners. I walked about 40 meters from our cell to go to the room where I met Lincoln. He is not far from us. We decide to hide the map in one of our shoes, in case we would be moved quickly. Then I say "Maybe we should also try to find a way to tell somebody we are here? I mean, look for a computer or a cell phone we could use."

"I doubt they will take us near anything like this, but if we get the opportunity we have to find out where we are. Why not try to listen very hard to the outside noises to find out more? I'm sure we could learn things if we watch and listen carefully when the door opens for dinner tonight."

That's when I hear the engines starting to roar. And we know for sure that we are on a boat.


End file.
